Spanky's Go-Go

Changes, Holidays and So On....

2007-12-24T10:20:00.000-04:00

Hey All!

I know it's been a long time since I've updated this thing, and for that I apologize. My life, well, got kind of crazy the past few months. So I think I'll quickly try to update you all on what's been going on, and give you some insight into my hiatus.

In September I came down with a very bad bout of pneumonia, which put me out of action from work for nearly a month and half. Very nasty stuff. Then when I was well enough to go back to work, I had come to the conclusion that I didn't like my job very much and was tired of all the crap going on in the workplace, and really didn't want to go back. So, with that I quit. Just like that. BAM! quit. I was always told that if you don't like something in your life, change it. Stop dwelling on how much you don't like whatever it is, get off your butt and change it. So I did.

I went out and pounded the pavement shortly there after, and quickly found a new job. I like this job, sure it's hard work, but I like that. I've lost 20 lbs in the past month and a bit that I've been at this job and despite being a little sore and tired from the Christmas rush, I haven't felt this good in some time. It's so nice not to have to deal with the mental stress that my previous job liked to dump on me. Sure I didn't' want to leave the friends and co-workers I liked behind, but you know what, the ones that really meant something to me, I just keep in touch with them anyway.

Now the holidays are upon us and for some reason that fact hasn't really set in yet. I mean, it's freakin' Christmas Eve and I don't feel very Christmas-y. However, once the g/f gets off work we're driving to my parents place so maybe once I get there I'll feel a little more of that holiday spirit. If not, I'm sure I can find it's liquid equivalent.

Anyway, that pretty much catches you up on everything that's been going on in my life. Okay, sure it's a condensed version, but it's better than nothing at all I suppose. Anyway, I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Spank-O is Gone-O

It's Official...

2007-09-24T09:45:00.001-03:00

Fall is upon us. Time to put the shorts away for another year, and break out the sweaters, jeans and light jackets. The ankle biters are back in class, the amusement parks are getting ready to close down and I am ready to freak out!

I've finally hit the point where I hate my job :( I'm so unhappy right now, and it's affecting all aspects of my life and that's not cool. I'm ready to quit and just walk out the door and not come back, if it wasn't for the good health plan I have I would have done it already. :( I have begun looking for another job, and hopefully with some luck I'll have something else soon. I don't think my employers realize just how unhappy most of their changes, that were "for the better", have made people, myself included.

You know it's bad that when I don't want to get up in the morning and go to work. I'm not afraid of work. However, this job is starting to get to me, and I've reached a point where going to work is more painful than the prospect of having no job at all. Not good at all!

What changes could the company I work for make that would make me so unhappy? Well, that's a long story better not discussed on my public plug, but needless to say the changes pretty much keep me in my current position for a very long time, hence the unhappiness. Anyway hopefully in the very near future, I'll escape to another company, where I won't have to deal with the garbage I currently do.

Is It Friday Yet?

2007-09-20T09:53:00.000-03:00

Is this week ever going to end? Seriously, Friday can not come fast enough for me. I've got today and tomorrow to get through work and then my weekend is upon me. I just want to sleep! Since the doctors adjusted my medication for my ulcer, my tummy is feeling better, but I'm sleeping less. Not Fair!

I'm hoping this will improve soon, because I can't continue like this, always tired, cranky and feeling stressed. A day at work is so much easier to deal with when you've had a good nights sleep. The cranky factor is greatly reduced and is less of a complication. If I was well rested and felt bright eyed and bushy tailed, work would not stress me out in the least. However, when you're tired, cranky and don't even want to get out of bed to go to work in the first place, well, that changes things a bit.

Anyway, I guess I should go and find some cheese to go with this whine...

Road To Recovery

2007-09-13T09:38:00.000-03:00

Well, after a few visits to the doctor and several adjustments in medication, I suppose I'm on the mend. So hopefully, in the near future the ulcer I have now will be a distant memory and I can get back to living and eating normally, which would be great because soup and crackers are getting old fast.

Not much to report right now in all honesty. Just been trying to get better, and somehow, someway get some sort of vacation, because I really think I need it. A nice break from work would be both welcome and appreciated, and in all honesty I think I've kind of earned it.

Anyway, enough belly achin' *LOL* no pun intended...

Things That Make You Go......Ugh

2007-09-03T10:14:00.000-03:00

For the past few weeks I haven't been feeling all that great. A lot of nausea and it's been hard to keep much down. I just thought I had a bit of a stomach bug. However after a couple of weeks of not feeling so good, and it actually getting progressively worse, I figure it was time to go see a doctor.

So after seeing a doctor and a few tests later, it has been determined that I have...(drum roll please).... an Ulcer. Which is not really a surprise all things considered. I drink a lot of caffeine based liquids such as coffee, energy drinks, Pepsi etc. As well, I work a job that can be rather stressful at times and my personal life can get stressful as well. So you ball all that up, and presto! Ulcer.

If you've never had an ulcer, trust me, you don't want one. It's rather painful, restricts what you can and cannot eat or drink, and you tend to vomit stomach acid a lot. Lots of fun indeed. So with that said, I'm on meds and a strict diet for the next month and then we'll see where we're at.

Busy Busy Busy.... Again

2007-08-23T09:46:00.000-03:00

Well, it's been a busy few weeks. I've had Softball playoffs, a wedding to attend, and work has been crazy for me. So, I'll touch on each quickly to give you an idea of what I've been up to.

Softball play offs started this week. We have 3 games, and must win 2 of 3 to make the semi-finals. Well, sadly we lost our first 2 games, so we now have no chance of making the semi-final, however we still plan to play our final game and try to end the season on a winning note. Personally I felt we were very capable of winning our first 2 games, however when only a small portion of the team gives it their all rather than the entire team, a loss is usual a sure thing. Well, hopefully next year will be different.

Next, the wedding. My g/f's cousin got married last weekend. It was a simply elegant wedding, and a simple and enjoyable reception. No real crazy wedding stories unfortunately. Now that I think about it, it was kind of boring. The highlight was the wedding cake toppers. The bride and groom were Han Solo and Princess Leia from Star Wars. I, as most of you know, being a Star Wars fan, thought this was wonderful, the majority of the other wedding guests, not so much.

Lastly, the craziness of work. For the past two weeks I've been involved in a project that had me supervising a small team, and helping other supervisors with their teams. So needless to say I haven't had a lot of free time at work. Most days I've been lucky to have time to sit down for 15 minutes and eat my lunch. I was supposed to be doing this until the end of the week, however I did such a good job, apparently, that the team no longer needs me and are just under the watchful eye of another supervisor for the basics (breaks, lunches, etc) The hard part, I've already taken care of and they no longer need someone supervising them. So in a way, kudos to me for a good job, but also kind of crappy that I have to go back to my normal role so quickly. Ah well, that's the way it goes I suppose.

Anyway, that's been my life for the past few weeks, and it's not going to slow up anytime soon I don't think, hopefully it's all worth it and I didn't run myself ragged for nothing.

What a Week!

2007-08-06T09:44:00.001-03:00

Well, if you're wondering why I haven't made a post in the past week or so, and haven't been online or on facebook much, that's simple. I was a temp-supervisor while my supervisor was away on business. So basically for 4 days I was a supervisor. It was both a test of my abilities as much as it was my supervisor trusting me to look after things while he was gone.

I got to do the majority of the things a full-time supervisor would have to do on daily basis. I didn't get to go to special meetings, new hire interviews and wasn't given administrative access to the servers, but oh well, for being a temp, I got to do more than I could have expected or hoped for.

My supervisor is back today and he told me that he heard very good things from the other supervisors and that the site director said I did a great job. So I'm guessing I turned some heads, and have done myself a good service in getting that kind of position in the future. I really enjoyed the experience and look forward to doing it again for another supervisor if they take a leave of absence, go on vacation or whatever. If not, a full promotion would be nice too ;)

Anyway, other than that, I haven't done much and nothing all that exciting happened. The weather was supposed to get nasty here last week and we got lucky and it missed us by a few hundred kilometers. I had considered seeing The Simpson's Movie, but decided against it due to the large number of people at the movie theatres this past weekend. So that's all for me. Hope you all had an enjoyable week. :)

Busy Busy Busy.... :)

2007-07-26T09:35:00.000-03:00

Well, I know haven't made a post in a bit, so I figured I'd make one. Things have been busy the past week or so. Lots of stuff going on. Softball games, work, and a new book to read and movie to see.

Softball and work are both good, we won both our games this week, although we only won 1 of 4 last week. Not for lack of trying, we were short people and couldn't field a proper team, but alas that's just an excuse. Work on the other hand has been busy. I figured with it being the summer things would have slowed down a bit, how wrong I was. Things haven't slowed down, they've gotten more intense, oh well I work days and they go by quickly and I get to see more of the goings on I missed when I was on evening or night shifts :)

The new book I speak of is the 7th Harry Potter book. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I finished the book in about 3 days. It took me in total about 11 hours to read, had I just sat down and read straight I would have been done in a day, however, I have so much other stuff going on, despite how much I wanted to do that, I couldn't. I really enjoyed the book, although I've enjoyed them all honestly.

The movie I saw, shockingly was the 5th Harry Potter movie. If I hadn't of read the book before I saw the movie, I think I would have enjoyed the movie more. Due to the size of the book and the restrictions on time for the movie, they had to cut a lot of material from the book, which I missed a lot. I mean, they did convey the most important and key elements from the books, but the character development of particular characters was missing and I felt that hurt the movie. I mean, it was much better than the 3rd movie, OMG don't even get me started on that one. Anyway, I shut up about that now.

So that's what I've been up to for those of you that have been wondering. This weekend I'm going to see a baseball game of the local mens team. I'm looking forward to it, it's been awhile since I've done something like this :) Anyway, that's all for now :)

Softball, lots and lots of it.

2007-07-16T10:09:00.000-03:00

Well, this past Saturday I played in a tournament with my Softball team. We went 2-1, which sadly wasn't enough to get past the round robin. Even though we played very well and had a great runs for and against average. Oh well, it was a lot of fun and I had a great time. I even was drawn at random and won a shirt of some kind which I'll get later today from the manager of the team.

After playing the tournament on Saturday I have a game tonight and another tomorrow night, barring any changes in the weather that could cancel the game. My g/f has really been enjoying the fact that she's been able to see 90% of the games I've played this season, even though I joined the team midway through the season. I have some concerns about playoffs later in the season. That is, if we were to make the playoffs, would I get to play as much as I would like. Mostly because there is a guy who started the season on the team, but due to the new schedule is now unable to play. However if there are games, tournaments or playoff on the weekends, he's able to play. I found this out on Saturday when I started having to play half games so he could play. Not to sound egotistical, but I'm just as good if not better than this guy, and I'm not there to drink like he is, I'm there to play. However, apparently he's been on the team a few seasons now, and I just joined, so I guess there's a little seniority going on. Ah well, I'll just make sure I play well over the next few games and maybe the manager will sub him with someone else rather than me. :)

Anyway, That's all the news for now. All I do is work and play softball, which is fine by me. 'till next time :)

Eventful Week

2007-07-11T09:20:00.000-03:00

Well, it's been a busy week. Last weekend I went and saw Transformers and enjoyed it. Went to the local air show and had a pretty good time. Then last night played softball and won both games. :) So I'm actually in a pretty good mood. Plus the ol' roommate is going away for the weekend, so I'll have a little more freedom at home as well.

Work has been going well, my advancement training has continued and I spent yesterday in meetings for the most part. I enjoy the meetings because it gives me some great insight into what I can expect when the time comes for me to be responsible for a team of people. I have had people tell me that I'm a natural leader and I hope that I am, and I know I'm driven and a bit of an OCD perfectionist, natural leader, well, we'll see.

Anyway, that's all for now.

Belated Happy Canada Day!

2007-07-02T09:42:00.001-03:00

I hope everyone had a great Canada Day. Mine was pretty good, had some great BBQ food, spent time with some great friends, but didn't get any fireworks due to poor weather, but hey, they're on for tonight and the weather is to be good, so YAY!. I also have a Softball game tonight, and I'm just starting to feel recovered from last weeks game. If that weren't enough, I have another game tomorrow night. UGH! I'm going to be so tired and sore on Wednesday *L* Ah well, it's worth it in the end. I love to play softball, and it's good exercise which I really need.

I'm a little sore today, mostly in the arms. I went to the batting cages and cracked off over 100 pitches. Now my right arm is sore and my right hand is a little twitchy. Although it was good practice and I needed it. It feels strange though because I didn't miss a single pitch and I had a bit of a crowd watching me bat because of it. I mean, I'm not a great batter, it's always been the weak part of my game. These people didn't seem to think so, especially the little kids. You swear I was some major league ball player taking batting practice the way these kids were going on. All the "Whoa!"'s and "WOW!"'s I heard was kind of flattering, but also a bit annoying when you're trying to concentrate on improving your swing. It was hard to resist the urge to show off and be all fancy and crap.

I don't care who you are, if you're good at something, be it playing a musical instrument, playing a sport, playing a video game, magic tricks, whatever, if you notice someone is even the slightest bit impressed by what you're doing, you get this sudden urge to show off. We all do it, and don't pretend you don't. I mean, being a braggart about being good is different, that just gets under a lot of peoples skin, but wanting to show off because you have this little kid in awe of what you can do well, I think we've all been there. Anyway, coming back full circle ;) My arms and hands are a little twitchy today and I hope it doesn't affect my playing tonight.

Okay, so I've rambled on long enough. I hope everyone had a good Canada Day (for those of you who are Canadian) and 'till next time :)

Light Show

2007-06-28T09:42:00.001-03:00

Last night we had an incredible thunder and lightning storm. It last about 3 hours and it was super intense. It was like someone put a giant strobe light in the sky and turned it on max. As well, there were many many many lightning strikes in the area, the thunder was so loud the windows rattled and my bed shook.

Normally I wouldn't mind a thunderstorm, I would more than likely sit at my window and enjoy the show and marvel in the power of nature. However, it was about 3 am and I have to be up at 7:30 am to get ready for work. So after the first 30 minutes I was cursing mother nature and calling her names that are reserved for only the most disgusting of degenerates. At that point the power was knocked out, there after I apologized and meekly climbed into my bed and tried to sleep.

Naturally, I over slept and missed my bus. Luckily my g/f was off today and was able to drive me to work, otherwise I would have been about 10 minutes late after taking the next bus. I haven't even really got started yet and I'm already exhausted. :( Ah well, it'll be early to bed for me tonight, get as much sleep as possible and hopefully no more thunderstorms of that caliber, well, until the weekend that is :)

100th Post!

2007-06-26T09:36:00.001-03:00

Whooo Hooo! Break out the noise makers and the confetti! I've reached the 100th post mark. Actually I would have thought I'd make it here sooner, but oh well.

Anyway, last night I played Softball with my company team, and after a shaky first at bat, played very well, went 3/4 and was the participant in a very nice double play. Actually I was involved in 95% of our outs since I was playing 1st base. *LOL* Regardless it was great and I'm looking forward to playing more often. I have 2 games next week, and a tournament in about 3 weeks.

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed playing organized sports. It's been a long time since I've been on a team and playing in a league of any kind. I grew up playing sports, Hockey, Rugby and Baseball. Sure it's nice to win now and again, but that's not why I joined this league. I joined to get exercise and get out of the house doing something I enjoy. My g/f is very excited to come and watch me play ball. I had wanted to play in a league last year but couldn't due to the job and the shifts I worked. I am joining mid season, and I was nervous about how I would play and if they wanted me to join the team, but after the 1st inning of playing 1st, the whole team was like "there's our new first baseman, well it kind of made me feel good about myself.

Anyway, I'm rambling on here, and I'm sure most of you don't give two poops about all this. So I'm going to leave it at that.

Where did my weekend go?

2007-06-25T09:26:00.000-03:00

Well, my first weekend of my new shift has come and gone. It seemed to go by so quickly. Although considering I had 3 day weekends for nearly 3 months might explain that. I think I would have enjoyed it more if it hadn't rained so darn much!

I joined the softball team at my work last week, thanks to my new shift, and wanted to get some practice swings in at the local batting cages. I dragged my g/f down there with me, got there, and it started to rain. So we were getting ready to leave and the rain stopped. YAY! time to get some practice. I get over to the batting cages, and this family, consisting of about 10 people, had monopolized the cages. They were wearing all the helmets, had all the bats and were lined up outside 1 cage (there are 6 separate cages, each with varying speeds). Unfortunately, they were rather unwilling to share one helmet and bat amongst themselves and allow other patrons the use of the remaining helmets and bats. Rather rude and ignorant if you ask me.

Anyway, by the time they were finished it had started to rain heavily and they had to close down the batting cages. :( So I was a little ticked off. I didn't make a scene, although I would have liked to give them a piece of my mind. I don't think it would have bothered me as much if they had been good at it. But out of the 20 pitches you get for dollar, they hit maybe one each round. Two would be generous. Oh well, not a hell of a lot you can do about it I suppose. It's up to the people running the cages to take care of that, not me.

Anyway, I did manage to get some shopping in and got my b-day cash spent. I got some new clothes, a new belt + buckle (g/f isn't as fond of the buckle as I am but oh well), some new DVD's to add to my ever growing collection (I have over 300 titles now), and a few other things. Anyway, it was a good b-day this year and I have nothing to complain about in that regard. I got a decent haul on the b-day loot, many b-day wishes from friends and family, my g/f took me out to dinner and what not. All in all, a good b-day.

Well, that's enough rambling from me for today. I have a ball game tonight and hopefully the lack of practice won't hurt me or the team too much. I am rusty and I'm a little nervous, although I'm sure it'll be okay in the end. That's all for now, 'till next time :)

Happy Birthday To ME

2007-06-21T09:13:00.000-03:00

Well, today is my birthday. So far, it hasn't been anything extraordinary. It's raining, The bus was late, and I have to work today :( Boooo! Ah well, no biggy. Just another day I suppose. I have already recieved some birthday wishes, which are always nice to get. Not sure how I'm going to do in the birthday loot department, but I'm not too concerned. I may be a kid at heart, but I'm not a kid anymore, and I don't expect mounds of presents anymore.

For those of you wondering, I'm turning 28 today. Ugh! 28. That's 2 years closer to 30. The big 3-0. *sighs* Oh well, can't stay young forever, or can I? Maybe I can live like a hermit, save all my money for the next year and a half, then get cryogenically frozen for 6 months, then when I'm suppose to turn thirty, my body will still think I'm 29 and 1/2.... okay maybe not.

Anyway, no more ramblings from me. Time to work, then after work, dinner with my g/f and presents :) YAY! I wonder where she's taking me for dinner? Most likely McDonalds knowing my luck *LOL*

Day Shifts - Day 3

2007-06-20T09:34:00.000-03:00

Well, I'm on the third day of my day shifts, and I'm still enjoying myself. I like going to bed when the sun just sets and getting up just after it rises. It's a nice and refreshing change as apposed to my previous schedules :) I must admit, the workplace is far different during a day shift than a night shift. There's a higher level of professionalism, and to be honest, I fit right in.

I don't feel the jealousy or resentment I did when I was on night shift. Then again, that's more likely because most of the people on the night shift, well at least in this company, are in the lower end of the spectrum. If you seem a little confused, I'll explain. The company I work for is stats based. Meaning you preform well, you get to pick a good shift. Now, day shifts here are the desired and treasured shifts, so in order to get one, you better do a good job. If you don't well, chances are you'll end up on an evening or night shift.

So with all that said, and coming full circle on my explanation, the people that preform well and work hard tend to have day shifts and the people who don't preform, bitch and complain about those who do, tend to work night shifts. Naturally there are some exceptions, but for the most part, that's how it goes. In all honesty, I love it :) Now that I'm on day shifts I get to work with people who have the same attitudes towards work that I do, and I can't say how much better that is than working with a bunch of bitchy complainers not willing to put forth the effort to get what they want, or at least bitch about wanting.

Anyway, moving along. I've started getting back on track already with my exercise and diet. Last night after I got off work, I stopped at the grocery store, picked up some salad fixings, baby spinach, mushrooms, onions, feta cheese and dressing, went home and worked out for an hour, 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of weights, then made myself a lovely salad for dinner and relaxed for the rest of the evening. I can sooo get used to this :) Speaking of working out, I am not as out of shape as I thought I was, however I am out of shape, and it was time I got my butt in gear and did something about it :)

Well, that's all for now, 'till next time :)

Day Shift: Day One

2007-06-18T09:41:00.000-03:00

Today is the first day of my new exciting day shift that I've been rambling about for the last month or so. I arrived to work early, excited and ready to go. Despite not sleeping well last night. Waking up every couple of hours and checking my alarm clock to make sure I didn't over sleep was a bit of a pain, but oh well, rather be on time and a little tired, than totally late yet well rested.

I got into work, sat down and fired up my computer. Checked my daily schedule to see what my breaks would be, and BOOM. They still have my old shift posted with breaks. So, I'm sitting here going WTF? So after a few minutes of panic, I got it all sorted out and everything is cool now :)

My weekend was great, got to spend time with my folks and siblings. My dad got me good though. He conned me into mowing the lawn as part of his Fathers Day gift. *L* Well played dad, well played. :) I got to enjoy a scrumptious steak while the non-allergic got to enjoy lobster. Anyway, that pretty much sums up what's going on with me at the moment. 'Till next time :)

Excitment :)

2007-06-14T14:15:00.000-03:00

Well, today is the last day I work a 10 hour shift. Thankfully. I've been doing these for three months and let me tell you, it sucks. Well, at least for me it does. I'm very excited to be starting my new 8 hour day shift come Monday :) 10am to 6pm with Saturday and Sunday off. Whooo hooo! I'm so happy. I have that at least for the summer, maybe longer depending on how things go.

As well, this is my Friday. This weekend I'm heading to my parents place to spend fathers day with my folks. As well, most of my siblings will be there, if not all of them, which will be nice. :) I haven't seen many of them since Easter so it'll be good to see them again :) As well, my g/f will be going with me, she wasn't able to go at Easter and well, she's rather excited herself. :)

That's all I can think of right now. So 'till next time :)

Blast From The Past

2007-06-12T14:13:00.000-03:00

Well, I was looking through facebook the other day. Exploring the different groups out there for places I've been, schools I've attended and what not. Then I saw a name I had not seen nor heard in 17 years. It was the name of a girl who I went to elementary school with grades 4 through 6. She moved away at the end of 6th grade and that was the last time the name ever crossed my mind.

Now, thanks to facebook we've struck up a conversation and we're talking casually via facebook. What I think is so funny is back when we were in elementary school, I was such a geek! I mean, I was picked on regularly, and didn't have a lot of friends, despite being rather good a pretty much any sport. I mean, that changed when I hit the 8th grade and I sort of "changed". Anyway, I was a geek is my point, and she was not. I would have never thought 17 years ago to be talking with her now. I mean, it's not like this is some elementary school crush that I never got over. I have a g/f and she has a b/f, this is just two people who went to elementary school together, curious as to how things have been for the last 17 years.

I'm thinking I'll have to start looking up other people from the past on facebook, of course that could be met with some backlash. Naturally there are going to be people out there that forgot me the moment I moved or school let out or whatever and want nothing to do with me anymore. That's life. However, it could be interesting to see what happens.

The Weather is Wonderful....

2007-06-11T17:38:00.000-03:00

So why am I so tired? It's sunny, 23 to 26 degrees Celsius outside, for you people that go by Fahrenheit that's about 80 degrees. I should be smiling, happy and all that but I'm not. I'm tired, I feel like I'm dragging my feet and my mind is cloudy.

I'm not sure what the cause is. I have been stressed out a bit with work being crazy and all sorts of changes going on. As well, the 10 hour shifts I'm on do kick my butt, mostly because I don't get a lot of time to unwind and relax before I need to be in bed to get enough sleep for the next day. :( Lame excuse, but it's more or less the truth.

Well, I'm going to day shifts next week, and I'm looking forward to that, as well as the upcoming weekend, a nice little family get together will be nice :) Anyway, that's all for now. :)

Random Thoughts...

2007-06-05T14:03:00.000-03:00

Well, only 8 more posts after this one until I reach the 100th post mark. As well, there are only 16 more days until my birthday. And only 7 more work days until I start my new shift. So there are a few things I can look forward to I suppose.

At this moment it's rather difficult to stay positive and upbeat with all the negativity around me. Mostly at work, and because I do spend a fair amount of time there, I feel it a great deal. It's not that I'm negative, it's more that there are a lot of negative people at work directing their negative feelings towards me, because I do well at work and they don't, or using me as a "shoulder to cry on" as it were.

So with all the crap floating around me, it's hard to keep a smile on my face and a jump in my step. I mean, yes I understand why they feel the way they do, and I do. I'm good that way I guess, very understanding and able to see things from multiple perspectives. However, it doesn't mean I feel it's justified. I work in a place that rewards based on performance (get your mind out of the gutter you perverts) and if you don't preform well, you are rewarded less. It's pretty simple really. Work hard and you'll be noticed and rewarded. Slack off and you get squat. How hard is that to comprehend?

Okay I know I'm not the greatest or the best performer, however I work hard and the company I work for recognizes that and rewards me accordingly which I truly appreciate. If I slacked off and someone else was getting the things I'm currently getting, well it's no one's fault but my own really. It's not my supervisors fault, it's not the company's fault, the only person who can take responsibility for me and the work I do, is me. It's amazing how many people forget that, or even realize it in the first place. They seem to think it's someone else's job to make sure they work hard, years ago, yes that was the case, cracking the whip and all that. However, now days company's have gotten a bit lazy and rely on the workers to motivate themselves. It's just a sad reality of the modern workplace. Well, at least in the majority of the public sector anyway.

Anyway, I'm finished my rant now. I feel better :) That's one thing this blog is good for, just spewing out whatever is on my mind and getting it out there, and no longer bottling it up. Less negativity inside is good :)

Uh Oh...

2007-05-31T14:15:00.000-03:00

Well, Likalia has pulled ahead in our little post-off on our blogs. Although I will admit that due to the time zone difference between us, she has me at a bit of a disadvantage. What do I mean? well allow me to explain. I am on the east coast, she is on the west coast. There is a 4 hour time difference between us. Therefore, by the time the day is done, she still has 4 hours left to post, and respond to the number of posts I've made. So if I only make one post today, she has 4 hours to match that, or surpass it.

NO NO NO! Not fair! Waaaaaaaaah! I'm taking my ball and going home.

Actually, I'm not. It just boils down to, is that she wanted it more than I did. Seeing how today is the last day for posting, and this will most likely be the only post I make today, congrats Likalia. You came from behind and gave me a whoopin'. Hopefully in the next post off, I'll be better prepared. :)

For those of you rooting for me, sorry I let you down, but I will avenge thee! Just not sure when. Anyway, that all for now. Once again, congrats Likalia :)

10 more...

2007-05-30T14:18:00.001-03:00

Only 10 more posts until my 100th post. All things considered, that's kind of sad. I've had this blog for over a year, and I'm now just getting close to the 100 mark. You would think with me being so opinionated and often suffering from verbal diarrhea I would have posted more in the last year and a bit.

Although I will admit, my blog isn't my top priority. I have a life to live and I live it. If I don't have the chance to update my blog for a few days, oh well. Hell I've gone months with only a 2 or 3 updates. However, 3 years ago if I had this blog, there would have been an update everyday. However, it's not 3 years ago, and a lot has changed in my life since that time.

Anyway, work is going well as you've read lately, however there is a lot of negativity in the workplace. Mostly because people are not happy with the shifts they are ending up with, and are a little jealous of me because I got my dream shift. However the complainers are among the minority really. They just tend to make the most noise.

I'm really looking forward to summer now that I will be moving to day shifts. I know I've listed numerous reasons why before, but I left out one crucial point. I get to BBQ more! :) YAY! Burgers, Hot Dogs, Sausages, Steaks, Corn on the Cob...... and the list goes on and on and on. :) I love BBQ food. LOVE IT. However, it does tend to add the poundage to the old body. However, I will have more time to exercise (as I've said before) so it all balances out :)

Just 2 1/2 More Weeks

2007-05-29T14:03:00.000-03:00

In 2 1/2 more weeks I'll be starting my new shift. I'm so excited to be leaving these horrid 10 hour evening shifts for the normal pace of a regular day shift. :) I haven't worked a day shift in over a year now, and I'm looking forward to it. Getting up with the sun rather than going to bed.

I'm hoping that the new shift will help me and I'll be less tired all the freaking time. I get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep a night, however it doesn't ever feel like it's enough. I get to work and I'm tried, so I usually partake in some coffee or an energy drink. Not the greatest habit I'm sure, but it's what's been getting me through.

I have high hopes for change when I switch to my new shift, and just hope I don't blow the oppertunity. I mean, I'll have chances to get so much accomplished now that I'm off at 6pm rather than 12:30am. I can go to the gym. I can cook my meals without waking other people in the house up therefor not rely on frozen dinners and other pre-made crap. I can be online a little more and actually get to talk to a good majority of you all the more often. It's a great chance to swing things around, just hoping it doesn't fall apart on me.

Work Place Stuff...

2007-05-28T21:17:00.000-03:00

As some of you have read, if you read this on a regular basis. I'm sort of a driven person, who strives to move up fast in my job. Well, recently I had been getting frustrated, because it felt like I wasn't getting anywhere despite my best efforts.

Well, this week, a little recognition has come my way. I received an award at work called "The Apex Award", which is basically a recognition of consistent great work over a set time period. They do one every business quarter, and very few people get it. I was 1 of 4 who received it this business quarter and there are over 400 people eligible. So that says something.

The interesting thing is, as soon as I received this, I immediately began helping in other areas of the company which I had been trying to get into for the past few months. So that makes me happy :) Hopefully, this is a good sign of nice things to come

Money In, Money Out

2007-05-28T18:21:00.000-03:00

I finally got my income tax return back this past Friday. I was so happy to see it in my account. Although it didn't stay in there very long :) I went out and purchased a brand new dresser to match my bed, some new clothes and a new book.

I didn't have an enormous return, but it was a decent size and I was so happy to be one step close to completing my bedroom set by adding the matching dress. All I need now is the nightstand and I'm done :)

On the weekend my girlfriend and I celebrating our 1 year anniversary. I know that's not a big deal really, but still it's important to us, so we celebrated. We didn't go crazy or anything, just a nice dinner and some movies at home. Although I was very upset after my g/f told her sister that Saturday was our anniversary and to not interrupt in anyway, and she still called at 11:30pm looking for a ride to Wendy's for a frosty, and she lives 5 minutes away walking distance. I'm proud of my g/f for saying no, however I was livid because of the fact she was told not to call on that date because it was our day. Everyone else in her family, and mine respected those wishes, except, naturally her sister. So, needless to say I was a little pissed. Anyway, that's all for now :)

Could I Be A Hero?

2007-05-24T16:51:00.001-03:00

Today outside my work there was a horrible car accident, involving 3 vehicles. 2 cars and an S.U.V. The people in one of the cars and the S.U.V only had minor injuries, however the man in the 2nd car had a large gash on his head and was bleeding badly, as well was trapped in his vehicle. How do I know all this? well, I witnessed the accident from the window by which I sit at work, and I know the people who were actually on the sidewalk coming to work when it happened.

Now, I do know First-AID, and I'm a fairly strong guy, I'm not superman or a heavy duty power lifter, but I'm stronger than the average bloke. I don't faint at the sight of blood, and don't get squeamish easily. The question I'm asking myself is, had I been there, on the sidewalk when this happened, would I have been able to jump in there and help? Or would I have been in too much shock and just stood there frozen in panic?

I would like to think I'd get in there and help. I don't think I've ever really been in a situation like that where I would need to react instantly to help someone in danger. I guess I've sort of been lucky in that sense. I'm hoping that if that time ever did come where I had to help someone in need like that, I'd be able to move quickly and be smart about it.

2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

2007-05-23T14:58:00.000-03:00

It seems that is they way the world works. A few good things will happen then something crappy will happen to set you back a bit. Just when you rebound from that crappy thing and things start going good again, WHAM! something else pops up.

Why is that? I mean, okay, I do understand that life is not easy, and these obstacles are just something you have to deal with. However, for some the obstacles seem so small and insignificant that it barely breaks their stride, and for others, like myself, the obstacles seem enormous and devastating and when you do overcome them you're exhausted and just happy that you are still okay.

It's not surprising a good majority of the population of this country, hell, this Continent are suffering from anxiety or depression. I must admit it's hard keeping afloat and not sliding down that slippery slope. With the world being in the state it's in, both politically and environmentally. As well with the break neck pace of day to day life being what it is, it's getting harder and harder to keep up.

The Gloves Are Off....

2007-05-22T21:49:00.001-03:00

As indicated in my previous post, there's a bit of a rivalry going on for the rest of the month between Likalia and I, in terms of the number of posts on our blogs. So, we have been discussing the rules, and the only thing we have left to agree on is the number of posts allowed, per day. I'm thinking 3, Likalia has suggested 5.

Anyway, while we figure that out, here's a quick run down of the rules so far:

1. Qualifying posts must have a minimum of one paragraph.
2. Post must not be random babbling such as what you ate for lunch.
3. No cheater posts - a post of links does NOT count.
4. Photos only count if they fall under item 1.

if there are any other rules you feel we'll need to make this "duel" fair, don't hesitate to post a comment. Anyway, that's all for now, things will really pick up tomorrow ;)

Let the Blog Duel Begin...

2007-05-22T14:23:00.000-03:00

Well, if you've been reading the comments on my page, and reading my good friend likalia's site, you'll know there's a bit of a duel going on. If you haven't been reading either I'll give you a little background info.

Since I started this blog a little more than a year ago, I haven't been the most frequent updater, where as Likalia has. Although recently, Likalia hasn't been so frequent, where as I have been. So for the first time in nearly a year, I have more updates in one month than Likalia does. Which, for those of you who know us both, is scary.

Now that this has happened, I have decided to continue being more frequent, well at least until the end of the month, to ensure that I'll have one month of more posts to my credit. I know that seems like a nothing accomplishment, but to me, it's still an accomplishment. :)

I'm hoping this will motivate Likalia and get her posting more than she has been, more or less to give me something to read when I'm bored at work. Although if she posts every few days with a nice big post like the one she posted yesterday, I can't complain too much :)

Now that I think about, I may have to continue with this frequent updating thing, although like most things, I'll most likely start out strong and just fade off later, and now that I type that, I can feel many verbal jabs heading my way, oh well, I can take it, let's see who can be the most creative :)

Anyway, that's all for now :)

Allergy Season, Day 6

2007-05-21T14:24:00.000-03:00

Well, my allergies are finally under control. Thanks to large amounts of allergy medication, and the rain that's been falling the past few days. It's nice not to be so miserable that I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out. This week, and for the next month, my g/f is house sitting for her grandmother. I somehow got conned into staying with her for the first week just so she gets settled. My older sister seems to think otherwise, but whatever, I know the real reason I'm there and that's what matters.

Work is going to be busy over the next few weeks. People taking time off, weather getting nicer and people calling in "sick", all that nonsense. So I need to be sure and get lots of rest, I know I'm going to need it. Not sure if that's going to be easy considering where I'm staying. Anyway, that's all the news.

Allergy Season Phase 1 Day 2

2007-05-15T17:11:00.000-03:00

Well, it's day two, and needless to say I'm miserable. I'm stuffed up, have a nasty cough, and my head feels about 3 sizes bigger than normal, and I have a pretty big noodle to begin with.

I'm working today despite feeling like crap. I'm not sure how much of my shift I'm going to get in before I'll have to give up and go home. I mean, every time I cough I'm seeing stars and feeling dizzy. Most likely due to lack of oxygen from being so stuffed up. :(

On a different note, I'm looking forward to the next few weeks, my g/f is house sitting for her grandmother while she is away on vacation, so I'll be able to spend more time with her without outside interference. YAY! That makes me happy, even though I feel blah.

Allergy Season Phase 1

2007-05-14T14:22:00.000-03:00

Well, allergy season is in full swing. The trees are budding, the flowers are blooming, and I'm sneezing like an elephant with a cold. I've got lots of allergy meds to get me through the next couple of weeks, although that doesn't change the fact my head is going to be a little cloudy for those two weeks, which makes works a little more tiresome than it already is.

The good news is, in a couple weeks I will start my nice new shift which I'm really excited about. I'll be able to have something of a life. I am getting off these 10 hour shifts, I praise the people who love them and can do them, as for myself, 10 hours at this job, I can't do. 10 hours of something else maybe, but not this job :( I'll miss the three day weekends, but I'll give up one of those days to be off at 6pm instead of 12:30 am.

The good thing about this shift change, when it happens, is I'll be able to exercise again. I've put on a bit of weight since January, and even more since I started these 10 hour shifts. I'll be able to exercise for numerous reasons. First, I won't be so drained from work, I'll actually have the energy to actually exercise. Second, I'll be home at a reasonable hour so I can exercise and not keep everyone in the house awake with the constant clanking of weight plates and the hum of an exercise bike, and naturally me panting and sweating up a storm. Third, and lastly, I'll be able to prepare proper meals to help with weight loss and exercise, instead of relying on quick instant crap that's full of salt and preservatives that are not exactly healthy compared to say, a grilled chicken breast and steamed veggies for example. :)

Anyway, that's all the news for now. I hope everyone is well, and if you see me on face book, add me would ya? I know I have more than 10 friends out there ;)

Improvements :)

2007-05-09T15:00:00.000-03:00

Well, I had some good news when I came into work today. My supervisor came up to me and because of all the hard work I've been doing, to reward me, I get to pick my shift. I get to HAND PICK my shift :) I'm floating right now. I've been working so hard since September to get this, and finally, the hard work has paid off. What would be even better if I were to get the position as a training coach, but in all honesty I don't expect that right now, so being able to pick my shift is a nice consolation prize :)

C'est La Vie

2007-05-07T14:25:00.000-03:00

Well, after reading a nice long Non-cheater post by likalia at her site, I felt obligated to make a post. Actually, her post was so long and because I had teased her about cheater posts, I felt kind of guilty for not having updated my sight and well, here I am.

Speaking of feeling guilty, I also felt guilty for not joining Face book after numerous people had invited me. So yesterday I went and joined face book, so all of you who sent me invites or are on face book already, look me up :)

Moving along. Work has been frustrating lately. It seems the harder I try to get ahead, the further back I end up. I want to move ahead, and positions open up that I could be great at, but then there are prerequisites that I don't have, and those are the only thing that are holding me back, because I know the other people applying have those skills/training. I have a meeting today with someone a little higher up, so maybe I can sweet talk my way into getting some of the training I need.

The g/f and I are doing well. There hasn't been too much outside interference as of late, thankfully. Which makes things easier for us. Not a lot to report on that front, other than we're doing well and we're quickly approaching the one year mark of us as a couple. Which is pretty amazing considering my track record *LOL* Anyway, That's all for now, hope all are well. :)

Where did my Voice Go?

2007-04-26T13:44:00.000-03:00

Late last week, I came down with some kind of laryngitis. I took the proper steps to take care of it, cough syrups, lozenges etc. It got better after a couple of days, and on Monday I went back to work. But by end of the work day on Tuesday, my voice was gone again. I went to the doctor yesterday seeing how my voice had vacated my body once again. It seems that I went back to work a little too soon and seem to have caused some damage to my vocal chords and was told by my doctor to take at least 5 days off work to recover from this, and while I'm "recovering", don't talk much, if at all.

So I'm staying at home, even though the weather is nice, trying to get better. I had been seriously sleep deprived for some time, so I've been catching up on sleep. I've had some house work to get done that I'd been putting off because I haven't been feeling well, lack of sleep, sore throat, etc. So I'm not just sitting on the couch the whole time watching TV and being lazy.

Other than that, not much else going on, so 'till next time :)

Mission: To Do List...

2007-04-16T14:21:00.000-03:00

Well, I'm happy to say, mission accomplished, well, almost :) Out of a list of about 20 things, I accomplished about 15 of them in the span of a 2 days. Yes I do have 3 day weekends, but I took one of those days as a relax day and didn't do much of anything but watch the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Go Canucks Go! ;)

I had been putting off many of those things, simply because I wasn't in the mood to do them, but they were things that had to be done. So I got to work. It felt good to finally have those things done and out of the way so I can focus on something else, at the same time though, I would have liked to have spent more time relaxing, but hey, who wouldn't.

Work has been so busy as of late, and the 10 hour shifts I do are brutal. Then, when my days off arrive, my g/f has all sorts of plans made for us and I'm sitting there trying to figure out when I'm suppose to sleep. I mean, when her days off come, she makes her list, and completes it. I don't get factored into the equation until after the list is done. When MY days off come around, well, I'm not supposed to have a list, I'm supposed to be ready for whatever she's got lined up. So this past weekend, I took back my days off, and my to do list was first and foremost. I don't think they g/f liked it all that much, but I needed to get these things done, and in the end she did understand. :)

Anyway that's all for now. :) 'till next time

Beautiful Weather, Negative Attitudes

2007-04-10T15:48:00.000-03:00

The weather outside today is gorgeous. Beautiful sunshine, blue skies, a few fluffy clouds and a nice mild breeze. I wonderful day to be outside enjoying the weather. I always find that when the weather is nice outside I feel better. My mood improves and physically I feel better.

The only downside to a day like today is I have to work. So I have to be inside when the weather is so nice. But I sit near a window, so I can look outside and at least enjoy it a little bit. The thing that annoys me the most is people who bring their negativity with them to work and whine and complain about having to be inside on a nice day. I try to be positive at work at all times, because even though I may be having a rough time outside of work, that's outside of work, there's no need to bring it in to the office with me and spread it around ruining other peoples day.

Moving on, I have begun to slowly adjust to my new sleeping schedule that I'm required to be on for my new shift at work. Which is great, being less tired at work is surely a great advantage. Hopefully it's not a temporary thing and I'll continue decent sleeping patterns. Anyway 'tis all for now. :)

Belated Happy Easter

2007-04-09T17:21:00.000-03:00

Well, another Easter has come and passed. It was a fun Easter, I spent it with my family. The only downside was my g/f was not with me, she had to work all weekend. So, it kind of sucked, but it also gave me a bit of a break to just have some "me" time, which is also kind of good. My mom went and made a wonderful Easter dinner, which I won't get into the details, rest assured it was very yummy :)

The only downside to the entire weekend was the drive home from my parents place. Normally this drive takes a little less than 2 hours. Due to the nasty Easter storm we had, and the snow that came with it, the road conditions were less than stellar and the trip took nearly 3 hours, as was a white knuckle drive. But other than that, I had a pleasant Easter weekend.

Anyway, I don't really have a lot to say today, other than I hope everyone had an enjoyable Easter weekend :) 'till next time :)

Can I Get a Whoop Whoop...

2007-04-04T14:26:00.000-03:00

Actually it's more like a Snore Snore. After 3 weeks on my new shift I have still not yet adapted to the new sleep schedule, and it's soooo frustrating. I try to go to bed ontime, but when I do, I just lie there, wide awake and unable to sleep. I mean, okay, yes I am a bit of an isomniac to begin with, but I shouldn't be having as much troubles with sleep as I have been.

It'd be nice if I could go to the doctor and try to get some help with my current sleep problems. Maybe have some tests done and figure out a way to get some sleep. But alas, I don't have a doctor. Not because I'm too lazy to go out and find one, because there is a shortage of doctors in the area in which I live, and I'm on a waiting list to get a family doctor, and in the meantime I can only go to an after hours clinic, and well, they aren't much help for something of this nature.

Anyway, other than that, things are pretty good. Works been hectic, but hey, that's why it's called work :) So, that's all for now, 'till next time :)

Could Things Be Getting Better?

2007-04-02T14:15:00.000-03:00

After yesterday's "day of talks", I'm hoping that things are getting better. I had numerous talks yesterday, and hopefully they all did some good to resolve tensions between my g/f and I, as well as her and her father. For those of you who talk to me on a regular basis, you understand how messed up my situation is with my g/f and current living arrangements. Anyway, just take some comfort in the fact that I personally feel the talks did some good.

So with that said, I'm really hoping that things are going to get better now. I think everyone is now on the same page, for the first time in a very long time. As well, I hope that everyone is aware of everyone else's expectations, that way the confusion level is kept to a minimum, and yes I realize that's not exactly an easy thing to do if I'm involved.

Now that all that has happened, I'm hoping my stress levels will drop a bit so I can sleep a bit better. I've been so stressed out lately, so on edge that I have not been sleeping well. When I don't sleep well, things tend to get worse rather than better, because my apathy level goes up the more tired I am. Apathy goes up, work production goes down, and overall I just stop caring. With my stress levels hopefully going down, I'll be able to get more sleep, and translate that into a more positive attitude. Anyway that is all for me, I've ranted on enough about nothing much at all, 'till next time :)

I Want A New Computer Too!

2007-03-26T19:09:00.000-03:00

It would appear that several of my friends have upgraded their old systems or gone out and either built or purchased completely new systems. Now I'm feeling all left out and envious. :( Especially after this past Saturday night when I saw my friends smokin' new computer. The only word I can think of to describe this thing is, it's a beast. I won't geek out and go into the specifics, but just be assured it's insane and I want one :) *drool*

I sat down and did some online window shopping, no pun intended. I figured with what I have now, I don't need to replace the monitor, keyboard or mouse. Just the tower, and some of the parts in the tower are rather recent and can be transferred to the new system. IE: my DVD+/-RW drive.

So with that said, I now must begin the tedious task of putting money aside for it, and no offense to my g/f but I've earned the right to have this, and if she doesn't like it, :P

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

2007-03-26T01:38:00.000-03:00

This seems to be the biggest question I have been asking myself over the past few weeks. I have become increasingly frustrated with my current relationship. I grow more and more tired of the things I seem to have to put up with. I find myself just getting annoyed talking to my g/f at times. I know these are not good signs.

Since I decided not to move in with my g/f things have gone from bad to worse. I feel like this is a deliberate tactic to make me reconsider my decision. Which I refuse to do, because I know it's a mistake and I'm not going to make a mistake that big at this point in my life. Other things that are starting to get on my nerves is my g/f complaining about her weight, but never doing anything about it. I come up with a giant list of things she could do, but all I get in response is "I can't" before the effort is even made. That just pisses me off. I have said many times before, I don't mind helping people, as long as the first make the effort to help themselves.

I have grown very tired of playing the knight in shinning armor, here to solve all her problems and take her away to some magic kingdom where everything is perfect. I'm tired of it, so now I have to ask myself the question, should I stay or should I go. Do I care enough about her to stay and make it work, or do I walk away and go on to something else. Being single doesn't scare me, and if this bull plop, stress and frustration is what being in a relationship is all about, to hell with that, I'd rather be on my own.

I have enough stress and problems of my own to deal with and solve, I don't need that compounded by the problems and stresses of someone else not seemingly willing to help themselves. I try everyday to help her in some way, but it's never enough. I've hit a point where I don't have a life of my own. It's like I go to work and earn money to be spent on her now, and I've been there, done that, and I'm not going down that road again. This girl has made some plans for me that I'm not too keen on right now. Marriage, kids and the likes. I'm sitting here going, when the hell did I agree to those things? I distinctly remember saying "when the time comes, those things will be discussed".

So, in the end I need to sit down with my g/f and have a very long talk about everything and sort this stuff out. If I don't , I'm going to either explode or just go to a very bad place that I had hoped to never go again. The time has come and I hope things turn out well.... :(

Stand Back, Vent Blows Hot Air....

2007-03-21T22:55:00.000-03:00

Alrighty, as the title of this post may indicate, this is going to be a venting session. Specifically about work. So if you don't feel like reading a bitch session, I advise you to stop reading now and move on to happier blogs :)

Okay, so if you're still reading that means you have some interest in what I'm about to say, so here we go. If you didn't already know I work in something of a call center. I know, I know, call centers are breeding grounds for bull plop. However the place where I work is different. The company treats their employees very well. Sure I wish it paid a little more, but it's the best salary I've had in a 4 years.

If I like the company I work for why am I ticked off? Very simple. Everywhere I worked I've done a butt load of work. I work very hard, and that's not a personal opinion, that's the truth. I have a very strong work ethic. If I'm being paid to work, I should be working. Plain and simple. that's just the way I am. My problem is, I'll be busting my pooper, doing as much work as I possibly can and there are people around me, doing as little as they can and bitching they don't get the recognition, and kudos that I seem to get. IE: bonuses, advancement, etc.

I don't understand why some people seem to think that working the least should be rewarded the most. I work hard day in and day out regardless of how I feel, or what's going on in my life outside of work. I earned all the respect, rewards and advancement I have been given so far. Yes I've only been with this company a short while, but when I guy comes into a company and in 6 months can do more than someone who's been there 4 years, and do all of it better, shouldn't he be rewarded? given advancement? shouldn't the best person for the job get the job?

I realize that this day in age, the "it's not what you know it's who you know" attitude is alive and well, but the company I work for doesn't look at things that way. They look at stats, abilities and how hard someone works and make their decisions on that. Not whose butt you kissed yesterday. I'm getting very tired of being resented for being a hard worker with a brain, and if it wouldn't cost me my job, I'd gladly say something about it to all the complainers I have to deal with on a daily basis.

Sleep, I Want Sleeeeeeep

2007-03-20T14:02:00.000-03:00

So begins the second week of my new shift. I don't think I've fully adapted to the new shift as of yet. I'm still having a lot of difficulty getting to sleep at a reasonable hour so I can get enough sleep for the next day. The biggest problem is I come home from work, and I'm still awake/hyped up from work, and it always takes a few hours for me to unwind and relax to be ready to sleep. The problem with working this new 10 hour shift is, there is less time between when I get off work and when I have to be at work again the next day.

More or less it's going to require a lifestyle change that I haven't been able to make happen as of yet. When my days off arrive this week, I'm going to seriously sit down and make some lists and try to get things in order and make a routine of it, so I can go to work everyday not looking like a bloody raccoon, and don't need sickly amounts of coffee or energy drinks (depending on my mood).

Anyway, that is all for now. 'till next time.

First 3 Day Weekend Has Come to An End

2007-03-19T14:28:00.000-03:00

Yes, my first of many 3 day weekends have come to a close. Sadly, I didn't really get all that much accomplished. I had a list in my head of what I wanted to get done, and I only got a fraction of it actually completed. I mean, yes it is slightly frustrating, but it's my own fault really. I really should actually write the list down, and cross of the things I finish/accomplish, rather than just leaving the list in my feeble mind to collect dust and never be completed.

One of the things that was on my list that I did accomplish was to go and see the movie 300. I went to a Sunday late show, and the theatre was packed! My first thought was "damn! movie must be good to draw such a crowd to a Sunday night". My second thought was "Crap! Now I have to deal with ignorant people who don't know how to behave at the movies". Luckily, for the most part it was a nice experience. The movie was good, and I enjoyed it a lot, sure some parts were a little over the top, but overall, very enjoyable action movie. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if the guy sitting next to me hadn't have taken a bath in cologne and knew how to sit like a gentleman. He sat in his chair as if he were sitting on the bench during a basketball game.

So anyway, other than not accomplish much over the weekend, and just being particularily lazy. It was an okay weekend. 'till next time.

Long Shift, Short Sleep, Long Weekends

2007-03-14T15:01:00.000-03:00

Alright, Day 3 of my new shift. I must say I'm feeling it. I'm not complaining though, it's totally worth it. Having a 3 day weekend all the time is completely worth it. Now I'm only supposed to have this shift for 3 months, however with the rumours that have been flying around the office, it may be more like 6 months. Not like I really care, I wouldn't mind having long weekends through-out the summer. :)

On a different note, it's Tax season, and due to the online tax return problem, I am going to be mailing in my tax return, but because I moved to a different province, I didn't receive the forms in the mail, and now have to attempt to track them down. Naturally everywhere I go, there are none left :( I still have a little more than a month left to get it filed, but still, I'd rather get it done sooner than later.

And lastly, the g/f and I sat down last night, and I voiced my concerns about this friend of hers, she accused me of being insecure, and I explained to her it wasn't that I didn't trust her, it was I don't know this guy, I don't know what his intentions are and because of their past (they dated for a few weeks) naturally I have some concerns. As well, me being my over analytical self, I look at all the possibilities. I'm sure I've got nothing to be concerned about, however, there is naturally that tiny nagging voice that says "be careful".

Anyway, that's all for now. A good ramble I must say. 'till next time :)

Adjusting

2007-03-13T14:04:00.000-03:00

Well, today is the second day of my new shift at work, and I must say, the new sleep schedule I need to be on while working this shift is kicking my butt. Then again, it's only the second day. The main problem is the time I was getting off my old shift, is the time I need to be heading to bed to be up and ready for work on my new shift. My mind comprehends that, my body hasn't caught up yet. Oh well, in time I suppose.

This Friday the g/f and I are supposed to go out to a birthday celebration for a friend of hers. A friend I've actually never met, only heard about, the entire time she and I have been together. I'm not really nervous about meeting the guy, that's a non-issue. It's the things I've heard about him that make me cautious. He's said to my g/f in the past and recently that he made a mistake letting her "get away" and that he "missed his chance" and he regrets that. I don't want to be the jealous type and not allow my g/f to see her friends, but friends like this, well, naturally because I don't know him, and because of the things I've been told, makes me cautious. I mean, if all they are is just friends, and he's a gentleman about it, hey no worries. I have female friends, why shouldn't she be allowed male friends. Hopefully I'm just being paranoid and he's really a good guy, although I've run into times in the past where being too trusting has come back to bite me in the ass, and I'm just hoping that this is not going to be one of those times.

Anyway, 'tis all for now. 'till next time.

Back, But Not in Black

2007-03-12T15:23:00.000-03:00

I am back at work after a 5 day leave to attend my godfathers funeral in Quebec. The service, both the wake and the funeral, were beautiful and very appropriate. I was very hard not to be all emotional, but I figured my Aunt and cousins were emotional enough as it was, they didn't need my blubbering to make matters worse.

Aside from the emotional roller coaster that is a funeral, I got to see relatives I haven't seen in a very long time. Some it had only been a few years, others it had been closer to 20 years, kind of scary when you really think about it. My father got to see relatives and friends he hasn't seen in nearly 40 years, so that was really great for him.

Anyway, I started my new shift today, and I must say it was hard to get up earlier in the day, but hopefully I'll get used to it soon, the only downside is I work 10hours a day, so the time between getting off work and going back to work is shorter, but the upside is I get a 3 day weekend every week, so YAY!! Especially since the weather has been getting progressively better, I can spend more time outside and try to get rid of my pale winter complexion and no longer look like a ghost. :)

Anyway, that is all for now. 'till next time :)

Going To Be Away....

2007-03-06T19:07:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm going to be away from a computer for about 3 days or so. I am going to my god-father's funeral in Quebec, and since I don't have a laptop I can take with me and hook into a wi-fi connection, I have to take a leave of absence from my computer. So if you are a person who emails me on a regular basis, or someone whose blog I comment on almost daily, don't take offense if I don't comment or respond in the next few days.

I haven't been to a lot of funerals in my life, this is the 3rd one that I can remember. I find after going to a funeral I start looking at my own mortality and that can get depressing. Hopefully that won't be too much of a problem this time. Anyway, 'tis all for now, see you in a few days.

Trying To Make Things Better

2007-03-05T17:54:00.000-04:00

Well, after the last two weeks of crap, here's to hoping for a week of good things. I going to try and turn things around and find a positive frame of mind and get going again. After being robbed, having my god-father die, having a huge fight with my girlfriend and having the worst two weeks at work I've had since I started at my new job, it's time for things to start getting better.

Due to all the crap going on I missed getting to go see a movie I wanted to see, I missed going to a convention I wanted to go to, and had planned on going to for 3 months. So Yeah, the crapfest needs to end, and some goodtimes need to come around. However, sometimes you have to make those things happen, and that's what I intend to do this week.

So, beyond all that garbage, things are going pretty good I suppose, but let's see if I can make some better things happen :)

Some of My Stuff Has Been Recovered.....

2007-02-20T16:16:00.000-04:00

Well, after a very stressful weekend, a very nice lady found some of my stuff contacted me and I got some of it returned. The most important stuff, that being my work items have been recovered, so that's a huge load of stress that's been lifted and removed from my shoulders. The only thing that was actually stolen was my brand spankin' new Nintendo DS and 3 Games. :(

I can't say I'm not upset, because I am. Anytime you have anything stolen, regardless of the value, it's a violation that is difficult to get over. However, I'm not as upset as I was mostly because the stuff that I was really concerned about has been recovered. So now, I just have to keep a watch on the pawn shops and game trade-in stores and see if it shows up. If not, and I still want to have one again, I'll have to suck it up and go buy another one. Which would totally suck, but that's life.

Other than that, Things are going pretty good, I just got to pick a new shift for the next three months and I'm excited about the one I got. It gives me Mon -Thurs, 10 hour shifts, with Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. I think that's pretty darn snazzy all things considered. Anyway, that's all the news for now.

You Never Understand Until It Happens To You...

2007-02-17T06:34:00.000-04:00

What happened I hear you asking. Well, I got robbed. I was carpooling home from work with co-worker friends, we stopped off for about an hour at one of their houses, came back out to the van in which we carpool in, to find the glove compartment opened, and it's contents thrown everywhere, and my backpack, which had all my work stuff in it, including a headset that is worth a fair chunk of change, as well as my brand new (just bought it today) Nintendo DS lite, gone. The other bags in the car were still there, and their contents still present, just my whole backpack, gone.

I know this is not as bad as being mugged, or having your car stolen. I get that. The only thing I'd ever had stolen from me before, besides my dignity, was a pair of running shoes. This hurts a little more than the shoes I must say. I mean, first off, I worked very hard to buy the DS, it was a belated xmas gift to myself, and the work stuff that was in my backpack, well, I can't put a price on it, because I really can't estimate it's full potential value, I can say I know the headset that was taken that I use at work, fetch about $500.00 or more. Further more, the fact I may have my wages garnished to pay for it, even more upsetting.

So aside from having the worst day at work I've had since I started, add this to the mix and it makes for a pretty crappy way to end the week. So, for those of you that have been violated in this way, regardless of the value, that feeling you get deep down in your tummy, I totally get that now, never did before, I do now, and I hope to never have to feel this way again.

There's Love In The Air.... Sort Of...

2007-02-12T18:55:00.000-04:00

Valentines Day is quickly approaching, and thankfully, I'm ready. I picked up a few things for the g/f, including a card that should at least make her blush. I'm not big on spending a lot of money for Valentines Day. I'm more of a Birthday/Christmas spender. Despite all the commercialization of this holiday, I have not forgotten what this holiday is really about. That 4-letter word that a lot of people seem to fear, or hate, so much... Love.

For the past few years I've been rather annoyed when this time of year came around, mostly because I was single, and due to the commericalization of the holiday, and all the in your face advertising and media push basically implying that there is something wrong with you if you are single. Well, I personally don't think that way. This holiday is for everyone, not just couples. It's about love. Love for your fellow human beings. You don't have to be "in love" with someone to "love" them, and you don't have to be dating someone to give them a valentine. I wish all my friends a happy valentines day, single, dating, married, whatever. It's about the love people, not the marital status, despite what the big companies say.

Making Headway... At Work At Least...

2007-02-09T18:39:00.000-04:00

This week I was given a nudge forward in my position at work. I'm doing what is called at my company as mentoring. More or less helping fellow employees that are struggling get better. I am soooo enjoying it. It's a great stepping stone on my way to the training department, which is where I want to go. So I'm really happy about that.

The g/f and I are doing well, although we haven't been able to spend much time together the past couple of weeks, her working days and me working evenings, makes things difficult, but we'll get through. The apartment hunting is still on going, but I'm not looking as hard, not until April. Not unless something completely amazing appears and there's no way I could pass it up. Otherwise, It's on somewhat of a hold until April. Anyway, that's all the news for now, my life isn't all that interesting at the moment. Not a lot of drama or craziness at the moment. :)

Annoyed :(

2007-02-05T18:00:00.000-04:00

I'm in a not so cheerful mood today. For the second time in as many weeks, I booked an appointment to see an apartment, and the land lord rented the place, and didn't call me to let me know it had been rented, so I call an hour prior to the scheduled appointment and feel like a tool after being told "Sorry, it's rented". This is starting to get on my nerves. The whole not being able to see the apartment, or having the opportunity to put in an application rent the apartment is not really what's getting to me, it's people not having the courtesy to call and at least leave a message. Then again, maybe I'm expecting too much of people, yet again.

Anyway, other than that I had an enjoyable weekend. It was very quiet, movies, Jenga and a few other board games. I attempted to watch the Superbowl, but oddly enough my g/f and I fell asleep watching it, although we woke up in time to watch the half time show with Prince, but other than that, we did more snoozing than watching. I swear I'm turning into my father. He always falls asleep watching sports games on t.v. Doesn't matter if it's Football, Hockey, Baseball, whatever, he falls asleep. I seem to be doing the same lately. I try to watch Hockey games and Football games and I fall asleep. I don't think it's the sports themselves that put me to sleep, I think it's the announcers voices. Oh well, not the worst thing in the world to have happen I suppose, there are worse times to fall asleep I'm sure ;)

New Look

2007-02-01T20:24:00.000-04:00

Well, after about a year of the same old black and white text I've decided to change things a bit. Since my favorite colour is blue, I figured this was a good fit. It's much more cheerful than the drab black background I was formely using. Anyway, there's nothing else happening right now that I feel the need to comment on, I hope you all enjoy the new look :)

The Apartment Hunt Continues

2007-01-29T18:05:00.000-04:00

Well, the month is coming to a close and I still have yet to find an apartment. It's a little frustration to say the least, however, it is a poor time of year to be looking for an apartment, but you do what you must when you must I suppose.

This past weekend, the g/f and I had set up appointments to see two different apartments. We called the first place an hour before we were supposed to see the place, and were informed the place had been rented. I was a little annoyed, because why would you set up an appointment to have someone view an apartment when it's rented? The second place, well, it was amazing. The gentleman that showed it did a fantastic job, the apartment was beautiful, just a tad out of our price range sadly :( oh well, it was definitely a step in the right direction. We are booked to look at another place this weekend, and I'm really hoping that this will be the place, because from what I was told by the fellow who is renting it, it sounds perfect.

Anyway, other than that, things are going well. Work is good, g/f and I are good, other than having no real private time, which is a frustration, but will go away once we have our own place :) Anyway, that's all for now :)

Long Weekend Over, Now Back To Work

2007-01-23T17:46:00.000-04:00

Well, my long weekend has come and gone. It was a good long weekend. Relaxed a bit and was able to unwind a little, but it just wasn't long enough. I've been working for almost a year straight with no vacation, and this is the closet thing that I've had to a vacation, and it was just way too short. :( Oh well, 'tis life. I just need a long, solid good nights sleep to get me going again.

I have not been sleeping well over the past few weeks, and it is catching up with me, and I need a few nights of good solid sleep to get back on track. I hope tonight I get a good sleep, I sure could use it. I've tried a few things that are supposed to help, but nothing :( I've always been a bit of an insomniac, and it's getting worse and that, well, worries me. For instance, today I took the bus to work, I fell asleep on the bus. Luckily, I woke up about 3 blocks from my stop. If not, things could have been, well, crazy to say the least. Falling asleep on the bus is a first for me, and it was a rather disconcerting experience waking up and being totally unsure of where you are, or what the hell happened for about 15 seconds. A little freaky I must say.

At the moment I'm on a waiting list for a family doctor, which means if I need to see the doctor about anything I have to go to an after hours clinic, and if I need to see a sleep specialist or something to that effect, that's a no go until I get a family doctor. Which is a bit of a frustration. Anyway, this has been a total bitch session considering I'm just coming off a long weekend. Anyway that's enough of that. Take care all :)

Long Weekend!!!

2007-01-19T18:46:00.000-04:00

Whooo Hooo! just one more shift of work to get through and I get my nice 3 day weekend. My first in a long time. I didn't even really get one on Christmas or New Years. :( So now I'm getting my long weekend, and dammit I'm going to enjoy it. :) I'm going out of town, and there will be alcohol involved :) Anyway, this post is going to be short because I have to get through work and then pack, and then get to travelling. So 'till next time :)

Long Weekend Here I Come

2007-01-15T19:25:00.000-04:00

Since I started at my current job a little over 4 months ago I only missed 2 days, and I was seriously sick, and I've never asked for any time off. Last week, my g/f found out she had a long weekend coming up. Which is a first for her since she started her current job in August of last year. Now my work allows us to access our vacation days whenever we want, as long as we've been employed for 90 days. So, since I'm well passed that, and I have over a week saved up already, I decided to apply for an extra day off (paid) so my g/f and I could share a long weekend together.

My co-workers were all saying that it would be hard to get that day off, and blah blah blah. But I followed proper procedures, and my supervisor takes care of his people, and voila, my request was approved, so I'm all excited now to have a long weekend off to spend with my g/f. The beauty of this is, there is no way her family is going to ruin this because we're going to go away somewhere. Not sure where yet, but we're going away, period. If this weekend get's ruined by her family, I'm going to be one angry spankosaur >:(

Anyway, other than that, things are going really well at work, the g/f and I are doing very well, the apartment hunt is still ongoing, but I must admit, it is a crappy time of year to be looking. Anyway, 'tis all for now. :)

Stupid Cat Haters!!

2007-01-11T20:44:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm still hunting for an apartment, and the biggest road block that I've encountered in that search is the "No Pets" stipulation. This is quickly becoming a very large frustration. In a sense I don't really blame the landlords/ladies. I blame the irresponsible pet owners who don't spay/neuter their pets and don't scoop the poop everyday and if they are going to keep them in an apartment, de-claw them and ruin it for all the other pet owners, like myself, who do all those things and more, and want to rent an apartment. :(

Anyway, enough venting about that. Work is going very well, and I just attempted to book my first paid off day since I started working here. I have over a week of paid time off saved up, however I have yet to use any, so since the g/f has a long weekend coming up, I figured I'd try to get a long weekend too, and we'd take a little trip somewhere. Get away from the city and all the stresses of here. So hopefully that request will be approved and she and I will be able to go on that trip.

Anyway, That's all I have to say for now. Hope all my readers are well. 'till next time ;)

The Hunt Has Begun....

2007-01-08T19:28:00.000-04:00

Well, I have begun the ever tedious task of apartment hunting. Part of me is excited to be looking for an apartment, mostly because that means I'll be on my own again, well, not completely, I mean my girlfriend will be moving in with me. Anyway, the point is I'm excited because this will be our first place together, and this will be the first time I've lived with a girlfriend. I've had roommates in the past, I mean, this day in age, who hasn't.

Anyway, so that's why I'm excited. Why is it tedious then? well, there is a common trend with apartments these days not allowing pets. Normally this wouldn't bother me, however I happen to have a 4 year old, neutered and de-clawed male cat that I refuse to give up. So I've been calling many many many different apartments that sound great at first, then just before I ask to set up a time to see the apartment, WHAM! they drop the bomb, No pets allowed. So the search continues.

Other than that, things are going well. Work is good, the girlfriend and I are good, aside from a few little things that are just a general annoyance, things are pretty good.

Getting The New Year Started

2007-01-03T18:21:00.000-04:00

Well, 2007 is well underway. and since my g/f has started adhering to her new years resolution, I need to get my lazy butt in gear and start following through on mine. Now since my g/f has joined our local women's only gym, I need to get my butt onto my home gym equipment and burn off the Christmas belly.

I have started on a few of my other New Years resolutions, with some success which is encouraging. :) I'm not going to talk about them, because, well, that's for me to know and for you all to wonder ;)

I've also begun the apartment hunt. I've looked at a couple places. They were nice and everything, just not big enough for two people to live in. If it was just me it would be fine, but there are two people and well, temporary is okay, but for a 1 year lease, I'd like to have something a little bit bigger :) I mean, sure I'm being picky, but hell, I want to do this right, and there isn't an immediate rush to get a place, just when we find one we are happy with, the move is on.....

Anyway, That's all I have to talk about at the moment, so until next time ;)

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T18:13:00.000-04:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2006 is over. 2007 has just begun :) I must say 2006 went out with a bang for me. There were fireworks, alcohol, and lots and lots of laughs. Yes I did spend it with my family, and yes it was totally worth it :) I think it was the best new years I've had in a very long time. I hope everyone else had a great new years. Your new years eve didn't have to be loud and drunken. Quiet and dignified is good too. Just as long as you enjoyed yourself all is well.

Well, let's see, what do I plan to do with my life this year? Well, as I'm sure I have mentioned before, my g/f and I plan to move in together, and thanks to my parents, that may happen sooner than later :) I want to get my lazy butt back in shape. I've slacked off over the past 3 months, and need to get my bum back in gear, otherwise I know I'm going to get mad at myself and that is not something I want right now.

Anyway, I really don't have a lot to say right now that I haven't said already. So, with that, I wish you all the best in the new year. :)

Countdown To New Years

2006-12-28T22:42:00.000-04:00

New Years Eve is almost here. The year is almost over, and a new one is about to begin. Myself, this year I'm spending New Years with my family and my g/f. I travelling to my parents place where My Brother and Two sisters are already. I just have one more shift to get through after tonight.

This will be the first New Years my immediate family as spent together since we were kids. Which is rather amazing. I'm looking forward to the home cooking, the laughs, and the booze :)
My g/f and I spent nearly $80.00 between the two of us at the Liquor store yesterday, got a little of everything really. Some Beer, Some Coolers, Some Wine, Some "I can believe it's not champagne"... I just wanted something with a top I could Pop open right at midnight, I have no interest in drinking it *LOL*

Anyway, This will be my last entry of this year. It's been a good year, for the most part. There have been ups and downs just like any other year. But this year there were more ups than downs and that's a good thing I would hope. I'm looking forward to 2007, the g/f and I will be moving in together, starting a new chapter of our lives together, hopefully I'll progress to a different position at my current job, or at the least get a nice raise for all my hard work, and if I'm really lucky I'll get to visit with some people I haven't seen in a very long time, and you know who you are, although I know I say that every year, but hell, I'm saying it anyway :)

I have some new years resolutions, but they are simple. I want to get my ass back in the gym and knock off the 10lbs I put on since I started my new job, I want to try not to let stupid things bother my as much as they do, and try to manage my money a little better than I have in the past. (damn OCD) Anyway, that's it for me. I hope you all have a happy and safe new years eve, and all the best to everyone in 2007. :)

Christmas Aftermath

2006-12-26T20:14:00.000-04:00

Well, after being up 31 hours straight, and going to a brunch, Dinner and an after-party at 3 different locations, and thinking I had to work, but in reality didn't and went into work when I didn't have to, and left the dinner early to do so. I finally got home and went to bed and slept for about 10 hours. It was a goooood sleep too, although I would have liked to have slept longer, but I didn't, mostly because I had to get up and go to work.

It was a good christmas for the most part. There were lots of laughs, lot's of smiles, and good food (which is my favorite part), that is until my g/f and I went back to her place where her Dad's g/f decided to bitch at us for bringing her presents back to her house and "taking up too much room" and then getting into her fight with my g/f's Dad and just bringing us both down. That and my g/f's sister being a sore loser and getting pissed off that I beat her at "Friends Scene-It". I mean, she was going on about how badly she was going to whoop my butt, and since she was such a fan of the show, there was no way I could beat her. When I was finished and she wasn't half-way around the board yet, well, she threw a bit of a fit knocked my piece off the board and said "well, you're not in this game anymore and it's just Me and my sister". I laughed and went and sat on the couch and watched them finish the game.

The problem is, my g/f's sister figured that I didn't watch the show, which is not true, I used to watch the show all the time, and my sister (who I share a house with) has all 10 seasons on DVD. I've seen the show. As well, I have a knack for remembering things from TV and Movies which makes trivia games about such things easy for me to play. My g/f is well aware of this and when she does win, which happens, it's all the more important for her because I tend to do well at those types of games. Her sister on the other hand, thinks she's the greatest at everything and when she get's proven otherwise throws a tantrum. Which is just pointless.

I mean, I'm not saying I never lose. I do, and often. When I lose I just accept the fact I lost and just hope I win the next time I play. It is after all, just a game. That's not to say I'm not competitive, I am, a great deal. I like to win just as much as everyone else, and No, I don't like to lose, but when I do lose a game, it's not the end of the world, I just want to play again to get another chance. I mean, sure I may talk smack from time to time, but it's all in good fun. I'm not the type of person who cheats to win, or will pack up the game and go home if I'm not winning is what I'm saying. Which seems to be the type of person my g/f's sister is.

Anyway, aside from all that nonsense, it was a good christmas and I look forward to having many many more with my g/f. :) I hope everyone else had a good christmas, and I hope you all have a happy new year. :) I look forward to having my family gathering over new years :)

The Holidays Are Upon Us, Where's My Christmas Cheer?

2006-12-22T19:23:00.000-04:00

Well, I know it's Christmas and I'm supposed to be happy. However, my workplace messed up my pay and I only got half a paycheck, and when I tried to get it fixed, I got brushed off until after the holidays. Which pisses me off to no avail, so that plus all the other added stress at this time of year, and my roommate, well, being a bitch on a daily basis isn't helping either. So right now, I'm a little on edge and in a mood to snap and go off on someone, but I've been good so far and I'm trying to be positive, but it's getting harder with each day that passes.

On a brighter note, I have all my x-mas shopping done and all that's left is the wrapping of the gifts, so that's great. Anyway, I'm sure no one wants to read about this despressing stuff and that you all have your own stresses to deal with. So I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year, and all the best to you and yours.

I'm Dreaming Of A Green Christmas...

2006-12-18T22:27:00.000-04:00

Well, with the weather patterns being what they are right now. It would seem that we here on the east coast are going to get a green Christmas. I don't mind all that much really. Sure it's nice to have a white Christmas, but the fact that I'm going to be working that day and have to travel into work, I'd prefer a green Christmas so that any crazies that are on the roads won't be slip sliding all over it.

Having lived on the west coast for a number of years, I sort of got used to having green christmas', so maybe that's why I'm a little apathetic towards the whole green/white Christmas debate. Anyway, as for Christmas itself, it should be interesting this year. I will be spending it mostly with my g/f's family, and I'll be spending New Years with my family, which I'm totally looking forward to. As for Christmas with my g/f's family. I mean, most of her family I get along with very well. The only one the provides any concern at all is my g/f's sister. Mostly because she is so damn childish, and I'm sure if I got something nice for her mother, she'd get all jealous and make a fuss about it, so I'm a little concerned about that, other than that, it should be fun.

Anyway, that is all for now. I'm sure I'll be updating my blog once or twice more before Christmas, but if I don't, I hope you all, and your families, have a Merry Christmas. :)

Relationships Are Work? Who Knew?

2006-12-12T20:29:00.000-04:00

Well, after a series of events, the g/f and I had to have a sit down and chat about some things to avoid future problems. Now, if you read this blog to any amount, I'm sure you've heard me mention my g/f's sister. Well, that's where I'm heading. For the ump-teenth time, my g/f and I have been roped into babysitting and having to cancel our plans. Needless to say I've gotten overly frustrated with this constant bull-plop. So today the g/f and I sat down and discussed this.

What seems to happen is the sister goes directly to my g/f when I'm not around and pressures her into doing whatever it is she wants my g/f to do, then after my g/f gives in and agrees, I find out. This happens A LOT and I've reached a point where I'm constantly having to avoid making plans because they are just going to get cancelled anyway, and I'm getting pissed off for not being able to make plans. So my g/f and I sat down and had a chat. We both agreed that this has been getting out of hand and that we're both frustrated, and what we decided to do is that before either of us agrees to do anything for anyone, to talk to each other first before agreeing to anything. I'm hoping this will help :)

Anyway, other than that, life is life. :)

Call Of The Search! My Voice Was Found

2006-12-11T18:31:00.000-04:00

Well, after a week of having nearly no voice at all, and missing nearly 3 days of work :( I have my voice back, mostly thanks to the hard work of the antibiotics I'm on. It's great to be able to speak again and not sound like some teenager who's voice is in the process of changing, that was just embarassing. The only downside to the meds is they make me extremely tired. I mean, sure it's great to catch up on the sleep I've been lacking over the past couple of months, but 10-12 hours is a bit excessive I would think.

Anyway, totally changing the topic, I've begun looking around for apartments. Just to see what's available, prices and so on. The g/f and I plan to move in together in april so it's a good time to start looking, get a feel of the housing market early that way come March when we're seriously looking it's not a shock. I know what some of you are thinking. It's too soon for us to be moving in together and what not. However, if you consider the fact I'm 27, she's 26 and it's the real deal folks, and that's not puppy love talking, that's the level headed, clear thinking me talking. I've always heard that when you find it, you just know, and I must say, it's kind of true. Again, the only thing that puts any strain on our relationship is her sister, and well, once we're living together, that's going to change. Anyway, that's all for now. :)

I've lost my voice, has anyone seen it?

2006-12-08T18:50:00.000-04:00

Well, after my streak of not being really sick for nearly 3 years. I get sick. Throat infection, and a real nasty one at that. So for the past 2 days I've been without a voice and off work. This isn't exactly the best time to be missing work with Christmas coming up so soon, but thankfully I got the bulk of my Christmas shopping done early this year, and only have my girlfriend left to buy for. :)

Well, after 2 days of lots of bedrest, little or no talking, and meds from my doctor, I'm making ground. I have something of a voice, it's a little raspy and quiet, but it's enough to allow me to go to work. The only downside is I have no force to my voice so I can sound intemidating or fierce.. although I never did before I lost my voice, so whatever ;)

Let It Snow, Let Is Snow, Let it STOP!

2006-12-05T01:01:00.000-04:00

Well, I knew it would come. I was just hoping it wouldn't be until Christmas. We got our first good dump of snow today. I've been teasing my friends in B.C. about all the snow they were getting, I jinxed myself and my neighbors here, so I guess I deserved a good dose of the white stuff, and NO not that white stuff you perverts, I'm talking about snow thank you.

The nice thing about this year is, the amount of shovelling that I will have to do is minimal, thankfully the person I rent from has the driveway cleared by professionals, all that I really shovel is the walk-ways and infront of the doors :) The roads are pretty sketchy right now, it's been amix of wet snow and rain for a while, so I'm sure things are going to be slippery for a while, but hopefull the deptarment of highways get's everything cleared up for when I head home from work in about an hours time :)

The Christmas Shoppers Are Out And About....

2006-11-23T18:06:00.000-04:00

Well, as I'm sure we've all noticed, the Christmas season is upon us once again. Now, I don't hate Christmas, in fact I actually love it. What I do hate is how stupid and rude it seems to make some people. This is supposed to be a happy time of year, yet people are pushing and shoving in the stores, driving crazy on the roads and cutting each other off and disobeying basic traffic laws, and the list goes on and on.

Personally I think this is a result of the over commercialization of this holiday. People have become so focused on the shopping and material things, they've just forgotten about all the good things that this holiday is supposed to be about. I'm not going to sit here and preach this or that, and go on and on about the religious aspects of the holidays. Far from it, I'm just tired of people using this holiday as an excuse to be rude and ignorant because of "all the shopping I have to do.."

I know in the past I've been guilty of things like this, but this year I'm trying extra hard not to get caught up in the negative aspects of the holiday season, and will focus and try to be positive and cheerful and see if that helps. :)

The Winds Of Change Are In The Air

2006-11-14T23:52:00.000-04:00

Well, after my rant a few days ago, things have actually begun to change. My g/f has started to say "No" to her sister. She doesn't feel bad because the things she's said "No" to, where things that she shouldn't have been asked in the first place, it was just the sister being lazy.

I know this is hard for her. Now, some people seem to think I get upset and want her to say "No" to make myself feel better. No, that's not the case. This is nothing to do with me feeling better. This is about her and her life. Even if she wasn't my g/f and just a friend, I would feel the same way. This is about her being able to have her life, and not have to sacrafice any aspect of it for anyone else. Not for me, not her parents, not her sister either. I would never ask of her or anyone for that matter the things her sister asks of her, and I feel it is unfair to my g/f to be asked such things and to be made to feel guilty for trying to have a life of her own.

Anyway to wrap things up here, things are starting to change and for the better. We'll have to wait and see what the fallout is going to be like ;)

Christmas Isn't Until December!!

2006-11-14T00:59:00.001-04:00

I went shopping this morning for some of the basic things I need in my day to day life. Groceries, Toiletries, etc. While I was shopping I was bombarded by Christmas decorations, music and displays. I was rather disgusted. :(

I firmly believe that these decorations should not be put up until the end of November at the earliest. This is simply because I feel out of respect for our veterans, these things should wait until after Rememberence Day. I most likely feel as strongly about this as I do because I am a military brat and my father served 25 years for his country, My Older sister served 13 years, and my grandfather served in World War II. So needless to say, it a topic I can be touchy about. If you're asking why I haven't served? Simple, I know I'm not suited for the military, I don't have the personality or the demeanor for it, and I have the utmost respect for those who do.

Anyway, back to the point at hand, the Christmas decorations. Now, I do understand the business' perspective on the matter. I have worked in retail, albeit for a short time, but I have worked in retail none the less, and I get the whole money making aspect of it. However, I do feel that they could be a little more respectful to the people the fought and died for what we have, and those who continue to defend it.

Now I'm curious as to what other people think about this matter. Am I out of line? Have I hit the nail on the head? Let's hear it folks :)

Putting Others Before Yourself

2006-11-10T00:51:00.000-04:00

Well, this post is going to be a bit of a rant, so if you're not in the mood to hear a rant, stop reading now. If you do continue reading, do keep in mind that the person I am going to talk about does not read my blog. Doesn't even surf the net at all anyway.

Okay, to start off. Putting others before yourself, in theory a noble thing to do. However, people today are very greedy and selfish and tend to take full advantage of people who put others before themselves. My g/f is a person who puts other's before herself, and her sister is the greedy selfish bitch who takes full advantage of her noble nature. I have hit a point where I'm so sick and tired of the sister taking advantage of my g/f's kind heart as an easy out for any problem she may have. Whether it's babysitting, drives somewhere, or whatever. It's to the point now, where the sister is so bold she'll call my g/f's work, have her paged and ask her to babysit, at the last minute I might add, just so she can follow thru on whatever last minute plans she may have. Now, am I the only one who see's a problem with this? Honestly! My g/f gives and gives and gives, and the sister just takes and takes and takes, and not once has she done anything for my g/f. NOT ONCE, in the 6 months my g/f and I have been together, have I seen her do ANYTHING remotely kind for her. It's just gimme gimme gimme, and if my g/f happens to say no, well, the sister cries to Mommy, Mommy comes down hard on my g/f and my g/f caves and does it anyway.

I'm sorry if I sound like a selfish bastard, but the point here is not for me to have my g/f all to myself. Far from it. The point is, my g/f gives all her time, money and energy to helping out her sister, and she isn't allowed to have her own life. For christ sake it's like they are angry with her for having a job and not being a live in slave or something. Now, whenever I get upset about this, the line I get from all of them is "that's what it means to be family". Like I don't understand what it means to be family. I do understand, I have 3 siblings, and I have done a lot for them and they have done a lot for me. However, I NEVER took advantage of them the way my g/f's sister takes advantage of her. Family help each other yes. Family are there for each other yes. Family don't borrow your car, drain the tank and don't give you a cent of money for gas and never even offer to pay for gas. Family does not guilt you into cancelling plans you made 3 weeks in advance at the last minute so they can go out to something they just found out about today.

I know I'm ranting and raving here, don't worry, of this I am well aware. However, am I the only one that thinks this is just disgusting? I do understand my point of view may sound a little biased, but I'm only providing the facts, and it's coming across that way for a reason. I'm not sure what I should do. I love my g/f very much and I hate to see her treated this way, and I've reached a point where I may end up saying something that will either end our relationship, or will greatly hurt her relationship with her family. So the questions is now, what do I do?

Feeling Isolated

2006-10-30T23:29:00.000-04:00

Greetings My Readers,

I know it's been a few days since my last entry, but per usual, I'm busy busy busy. For those of you who know me, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm feeling "isolated". Well, I'll attempt to explain as best as I can.

My social and work life, more or less tend to be one of the same. Simply because of the type of jobs I've worked, as well as the hours I tend to end up working. I know that's not the greatest thing in the world, but hey, that's life. Since I've switched to my new job, I do have "work friends", but they are not people I'd really hang out with outside of work, but they are nice people and enjoyable to talk to at work.

Lately however, I find people at work are talking to me less and less. I'm not sure why. Do I smell bad? Did I offend someone unknowingly? Are there rumours about me I know nothing about? Or is it just a case of everyone is busy and in no mood to talk? Could be any of the above really, which makes one feel rather self concious. Although this simply could be paranoia induced by lack of sleep. Chances are that is all it is, but sometimes it never hurts to be aware of what's going on around you.

Now, for oustide of work, 90% of my time is spent with my g/f. Which isn't a bad thing, I care about her more and more everyday, however, I'm starting to feel like I need a "guys night out" kind of thing, and that's kind of hard when I have next to no male friends, and the male friends I do have either work hours that conflict with mine and we can never hang out, OR they live somewhere else and I'm unable to visit them easily and hang out.

Hmmm, it appears that I'm just being a whiney bitch this evening *L* So I think before I go any further I'll cut myself off, and leave things at that.

Pondering

2006-10-18T00:56:00.000-03:00

Well, I taken up my wonderous hobby of thinking too much. Although thankfully it hasn't gotten me into to trouble yet this time, however I do realize that this is a dangerous past-time and there is always a risk that it could.

What have I been thinking about? Lots of things really. However, mostly things fall back to what I would call, missed oppertunities. I try not to regret the decisions that I've made in the past, however sometimes I can't help but wonder how things would be had I chosen a different path. For example, if I had decided not to ask out the woman who is my current girlfriend, and chosen to attempt a long distance relationship with someone else. How would that have turned out? Would I be happier? Or would I be depressed and unhappy?

It's not really regret, as much as it is curiosity. I suppose this isn't something I should be thinking about. I should be thankful for what I have, but there is always that part of me that likes to ponder the "what if's" of my life. Maybe I'm just an emotional sadist.

What Am I?

2006-10-16T23:43:00.000-03:00

Well, eventhough the title of this post may indicate I am struggling with my identity, that is not the case. I actually am very comfortable in my identity, that's not my problem. It's more how others see me. If I haven't confused you yet, allow me to elaborate.

Over the years I've moved around a lot. Gone from job to job, place to place, and so on. In that time I've met many people, and made many "friends". I do my best to keep in touch with those people, but alas, some people just couldn't care less. So I've only actually kept in touch with a handful of people, and I'm very happy to have kept those people as friends. In recent months, I have been very busy and haven't had as much time to keep in touch with those people. Some seem to be very understanding of that fact, others, well not so much.

So, my question is this. Am I a jerk for not making more time to keep in touch with people, despite having a rather hectic life at the moment? Or are they the jerks for being frustrated with me for not having more time?

I can apologize until I'm blue in the face for not being online as much as I would like, for not emailing and so on. However, I can only do so much. Usually if I'm sent an email, I will reply. Just because I'm not on MSN when you are, doesn't mean I'm not around at some time. I work a very odd time of day, and that is usually when most people I know are on MSN. Anyway, I think I'm starting to ramble and that's not always a good thing, being the type of person I am. So, I leave you all asking, Am I a Jerk?

Reflecting On Myself

2006-09-30T01:31:00.000-03:00

Greetings Dear Readers,

I know for the past few months I haven't exactly been making frequent entries, and for that, I do apologize. My life has been in a bit of turmoil during that time, and I'm just now able to have the time to myself to be able to properly sit down and do a thoughtful entry, rather than just a personal update :)

What has brought upon this sudden need to be all thoughtful, philosophical and perhaps somewhat intellectual? Well, I guess I'll explain that as I go.

This past week I finished the training for my new job and "graduated" in a sense, from trainee to employee. Now the "trainee" class started at 24 students, and in the end, only 7 were able to meet the expectations and goals set down by the employer at the beginning. This, in all honesty was rather shocking. Then, after all the dust had settled and the reality of the situation really had set in, I was even more shocked.

I guess you could say that after everything I've been through in my 27 years on this planet, in this plain of existence, I don't really have the highest opinion of myself. Then after the past four weeks, I realized that I'm not some generic shmuck who isn't worth much, and isn't really all that great. I have so much more to offer and I'm capable of so much I never realized I was. Now, I'm not trying to honk my own horn, I'm not trying to be a braggart and tell the world how great I am. What I'm getting at is, I didn't appreciate the gifts that I do have. I didn't have any confidence in my own abilities and didn't think I was capable of being anything special.

In the past few years I guess I have done a lot of growing up and self discovery. As well, I have come to understand the world in general far better than I did when I was 20. To sum it all up in one word, I guess you could say I've matured. The 2 years I spend living at home actually did me more good than harm. I guess I wasn't as ready to face the world as thought when I was younger, and because of that, when I got knocked down the first time, I really got knocked down, and didn't know how to get back up and continue the fight.

But since that time, I've learn some things about the world, and about myself that have totally changed my perspective, my strategy, and my general attitude and approach to life. The scary thing is, a lot of the things I've learned, I've learned in the past few weeks at my new job. My trainer at this job has passed on some invaluable advice that I shall cherish for a long time to come. I could run off the mouth even more, and go on and on about all the things that have been passed to me, but I would just sound like a motivational speaker more than anything else.

So with all that said, I ask each of you the question. Do you know who you are? Do you know what you are truly capable of? and if so, are you making the most of your life or just letting it pass you by in a blur of apathy?

Wonderful Past Few Days :)

2006-09-22T21:13:00.000-03:00

Well, I have to admit, despite some other personal things that I will not get into here, seeing how it's nor the place or the time for it, I have been having the best week I have had in a very long time.

I met someone at work who has had such a positive infulence on my life it's postively scary! He is, soon to be 'was', my training coach. He is also a cancer survivor, and has completely beat it. His love of life, endless energy, and positive reflection on life and how we can make the most of it is infectious.

I can honestly say he has tought me more on how to simply deal with life in general in the past 2 weeks I have known him, than anyone has ever been able to. It's not that I haven't heard the advice he has given me before, but there just something about it coming from someone who you know really believes it, who has lived it, and continues to live it.

Anyway, all the advice I have gotten I will not get into now, I'm just too hyper to be all serious and philosophical at the moment, but I just wanted to share with you all that I have had a life altering week, and it I can't wait for next week. :)

Venting Session

2006-09-17T16:53:00.000-03:00

Okay, as the title of this post may indicate, I'm a little annoyed at the moment and feel the need to vent. I do realize that everyone has their own issues and things that are going on in their lives that may or may not require venting. However, this is my blog, therefor my vent. Hope you enjoy my ramblings.

Okay, so I'm now completely fed up with my girlfriends sister and her fiancee. I've reached the point where if they call, and I see the name on the caller id and I know it's them, I don't even want to answer the phone because I know they are going to ask me and the girlfriend to drop whatever it is that we are doing, regardless of how important it may be to us, and come running.

I mean, I don't mind helping someone, if they first make the effort to help themselves. That's not what is happening here. We are the free baby sitting service and if we are unable to due to work schedules or have something else to do, we're suddenly jerks and mean, and so on and so forth. It's like the world suddenly has begun to revolve around this woman and no one else matters.

What makes matters worse, is the g/f never says anything. She just caves and goes running. Putting herself second. She sacrafices sleep, money, and her time for her sister. I mean, sure it's great she cares enough to do so, but the sister has come to expect nothing less of her. So now, my g/f is to put her entire life on hold. She seems to expect my g/f to be late for work, sacrafice what little time with me she has, her money, her gas, use of her car and so on and so on at a moments notice, all because she is having troubles coping with taking care of her new born child. Now, in my mind the father of this child should be right there doing all the things my girlfriend is doing. What is he doing you ask? Playing video games, running around with his buddies, pretty much everything but taking care of his child. This naturally pisses me off to no end.

So, I've reached a point where I no longer want to put up with this, but because she is not my sister, and I've only been with my g/f a little more than 5 months, I'm not sure if it's really my place to say anything. So, I'm more or less damned if I do, damned if I don't. With risk of sounding cliche, sucks :(

Long Time No Update

2006-09-06T18:57:00.000-03:00

Greetings One and All!

I know it has been some time since my last update, but life has been rather hectic the past few weeks and sitting at my computer typing is the last thing I've really had time for. However since there is a bit of a lull in the craziness, I now have the opportunity to post an update :) so, here we go.

As some of you may know, I've been working sort of a crappy manual labor job for the past, ohhh, 5 months now. I don't mind the work in all honesty, but it's the way the company treats me, and my co-workers that I'm not too fond of. It more or less boils down to 110% isn't enough for these people. So, having grown exceedingly tired of this, I have gone and found myself a better paying job where I don't have to physically destroy myself on a daily basis. As you can most likely guess I am rather excited. I am a little sad though. I have made some good friends at my current job, and I intend to keep in touch with them all, and my supervisor has told me that if I even need another job, as long as he is there, I always have a job. So in a sense, not burning your bridges is a good thing :) The Crush aka my girlfriend, also got a new job and she is doing very well there, and is the happiest she's been in a job in a very long time :)

So, with the whole career/job front covered, let's move on. On a relationship standpoint the crush and I are doing very well. We're crazy about one another, and couldn't be happier. However, recent events are putting an enormous strain on the relationship. :( The girlfriends sister was recently in a car accident, and granted that entire situation is messed up and I feel bad. However suddenly becoming her personal slave and having to put my life on hold for her? Not cool! I don't mind helping out a little in tough times, but being treated like a slave, and getting no thanks at all for it, I can't tolerate. I know I may sound like a cold hearted bastard at the moment, but without disclosing all the gory details, you'll just have to trust me here, I have every right to be a little miffed. I mean, okay, she's having a rough go, but you know what? Life is rough, get used to it, because just when you think you got things under control, something is going to creep out of the shadows and kick you in the face. Life is hard, if life was easy everyone would be a millionaire. There would be no poverty, no hunger, no disease, no crime, no hate, none of it! So stop complaining, and start taking repsonsiblitiy for your actions, and your choices, and help yourself.

Anyway, enough about that, before I go on any further and end up getting myself in a great deal of trouble, I shall say, dat's all folks, and hopefully my next update will be sooner than later :)

Happy Canada Day and Then...Progress Report: The Sequel

2006-07-01T10:18:00.000-03:00

HAPPY CANADA DAY MY FELLOW CANADIANS!!!

July 1st, our beautiful country's birthday. Happy Birthday Canada, You Sexy Bitch! Thank you for having wide open spaces, beautiful scenery, less polution than our neighbors to the south, being the birthplace of Hockey, birthplace of some of the great minds in history, home of some of the worlds best beer, and for being my home and native land :) and though I could go on and on about how great this country is, I'd rather not bore everyone with a patriotic speech when there are others out there that could do a much better job so I'll move on to my progress report :)

Yes, this is yet another progress report. With my life being a little hectic the last little while, I find I have less time to sit and dwell on my thoughts, then bitch and complain about dwelling on my thoughts. I've been spending much more time living and enjoying life, trying to make the best of it.

So, things in my life are going good I guess. Work has been a bit of a pain lately, new management making changes that are not required and ruining the efficiency of the crew I work with. I mean, sure everyone has their own way of doing things, but this twit is forcing us to conform to his way of doing things, and that would be all well in good, except, his meathods, well, for lack of a better word, suck. So that's been a bit of an annoyance.

My relationship with the crush has been going rather nicely. Although sometimes I get annoyed with her, but that's to be expected. I'm sure she gets a little annoyed with me sometimes too. I mean, my parents have been married for nearly 37 years, and I know for a fact they get annoyed with one another on a regular basis, but they still love each other and stand by each other. That's love in my books. Not running like a gizelle from a cheetah at the first sign of some rough roads. I guess I have matured a bit in the past few years, and that I would assume is a good thing.

Anyway, other than that I purchased some new clothes, some new movies for my ever growing DVD collection, tried some new restaurants and learned that I'm a lot stronger overall then I ever realized I was. So all in all, things are pretty good :)

It's My Birthday and I'll Bitch If I Want To....

2006-06-21T08:00:00.000-03:00

Well, another year has passed in what I guess you could call my life. I'm now 27 years old. My god! I'm in my late twenties, where the hell did my early 20's and mid 20's go? Oh yeah! that's right. In the crapper! :) Well, this birthday should be much better than the past 3 have been. Although, the fact I have to freakin' work on my birthday totally sucks! I was originally going to have it off, then naturally my boss has to go and mess with the schedule and screw it all up! Bastard!!

Anyway, despite having to work, it should be a good birthday. I have a girlfriend this year, how is treating me to dinner, as well as special presents ;) My family has already dropped off my b-day presents which were things I wanted, but are actually practical, I must be getting old *LOL* Now it's time to begin going through the numerous e-cards that are cluttering up my email box.

Progress Report :)

2006-06-13T23:23:00.000-03:00

Well, I figured it's been a while since I've posted something on my blog and it was about time I did so, seeing how for some, it's the only source of info on my life because of hours I work and am online and blah blah blah blah. :)

Okay, so first off, Work. Work is going well, I had my 3 month review, and it was very well. I have been placed into a training program of sorts to groom me for a supervisory position. Not sure how long this will take, but hey, it's progress and I'm happy about that. My co-workers are naturally a little jealous, seeing how I've been there 3 months and some of them have been there 4 years and have not made the progress I have. It's not my fault I'm motivated, intelligent and DEAD SEXAY!! ;) Ahem, moving on.

My relationship with the crush is moving along nicely. I can see this being a very long term thing. We go together very nicely, and being told by her family members that I'm the best thing to happen to her in a long time, well, that just makes me beam like you wouldn't believe. And Maggie and Likalia, you can puke all over that as much as you want ;)

Anyway, so with all that said, I'm kind of riding an emotional high. When I first moved to my new location, I was skeptical and unsure if things would improve, and when things weren't I was starting to regret making this move. However, suddenly things have taken a very sudden change for the better and I'm happier than I've been in a very long time and that's what really counts. I only wish everyone I know can be as happy as I am right now, it's be a wonderful world to live in. I just hope it lasts. :)

From Fantasy To Reality

2006-05-28T09:47:00.000-03:00

After my last post, I'm sure some of you, my dear readers, are wondering what course of action I was going to take to rectify the little problem of the crush. Well, I did the whole plausability thing, and decided that talking to the crush was worth the risk. I must say, I'm so glad I did :) Turns out, she had a bit of a crush on me and was wondering what the hell was taking so long for me to come and talk to her.

In my own defence, I have to say I was very uneasy, frightened even, about making such a move. I know fear of rejection is silly, but if you've lived my life of the past 3 years, you'd understand why I was hesitant.

Anyway, after numerous lengthy talks, and a fantastic breakfast together, we've begun dating. So, my readers, it goes to show you, even the hopeless romantic has his/her day :) The way everything happened, was just so amazing. I mean, if I were a writing a movie script for a sappy movie, I couldn't have written a better script. :) It's just amazing what can happen when you take charge of your life and start to live by your own set of rules, within the confines of the actual law of course :) All I can say is I've never felt so alive!!!

Letting Go Of The Past

2006-05-24T18:17:00.000-03:00

I've been doing some thinking. A dangerous past time of mine, yes I know. I've come to realize that there are parts of my past, I really need to let go of. I cling to parts of my past and it doesn't do my any good at all, in fact, it is so counter-productive it's not funny. So starting today, I've begun to let the aspects of my past that I've clung to for too long go . It's going to be hard, it's going to hurt, me as well as some others, but I have to get on with my life and start living in the now, instead of yesterday and what might have beens.

I have grown and changed and who I was yesterday is not who I am today. Further to the point, some of the people that knew me yesterday, never really knew me anyway. I hid behind a mask of insecurity for so long, and tried to be what others wanted me to be, rather than being myself. I've thrown that mask away, and I'm standing tall, proud and confident. I am more comfortable in my own skin today than I have been in a very long time, and it's time that I lived my life to reflect that, rather than allowing myself to get dragged down by a past that doesn't reflect who I am.

I know this may sound arrogant, and I'm well aware that I'm not really anything special, but the fact remains that who I was then, is not who I am now, and it's time to move on. I moved to a new city to start over, and to try and do things right, not to just fall back on old habits and patterns and be miserable again. This isn't a new me. I'm not re-inventing myself, I'm just finally taking control and living my life my way, instead of the way I think other people want me to. Today I look in the mirror and say "Good morning Stranger, nice to finally meet you" :)

I Thought Crushes Were For Kids, or Maybe That Was Trix...

2006-05-19T13:39:00.000-03:00

As you may have gathered from the title of this post, I have a crush. I thought these were something you had when you were young and immature. When you were young and naive in the ways of the heart. I can remember being in Junior High and having them, and when someone found out, you'd get teased about it, you'd blush and sometimes you'd "go out" with them. Hold hands at lunch time, maybe make out, badly I might add because most kids at 13 have no idea of what they're doing, and within a week or two the whole thing would be over and you'd move on to the next one.

Since I've been an adult, I didn't really find myself getting "crushes". I'd find a woman attractive, make a "move", if things progressed, great, if not, well, I moved on. However, recently, I find myself crushing on this particular woman, and due to complications I won't get into, it's hard to actually do anything about it, and it's driving me mad!

Have I regressed to the state of mind of a horny teenager? No longer in control of my feelings or my hormones? No longer capable of weighing the pros and cons of the situation, coming to a logical conclusion as to my course of action and then following through on that conclusion? Has this woman gotten to me so bad, that I don't know what is up or down anymore? Did I not think it was possible to feel this way and now I'm totally confused and have no idea of what to do, where to turn, or how to, with risk of sounding redundant, feel?

Expectations and Disappointments

2006-05-15T17:21:00.000-03:00

Lately I find I've been having a lot of both. I get these expectations of what things should be like, and when they aren't what I expected, naturally I get disappointed. Is it my own fault for having high expectations? Is it the fault of those not living up to those expections? I guess that's all a matter of perspective.

Perhaps I'm being selfish and when things don't go my way I have a tantrum. On the other hand, it could be I'm being misled, and the misdirection is causing me to have unrealistic expectations, and again, when things don't work out, I get annoyed, disappointed, even pissed off.

I don't like feeling any of these things, and I'm sitting here trying to come up with a solution to this problem. Should I just "suck it up" and live with it? Should I just continue through life without any expectations at all, in doing so, eliminating the chance of feeling let down by something or someone? I think the best thing is to try to merge the two ideals together and prevent myself from becoming completely jaded and apathetic. Yes I'm part of a generation that, sadly, is very jaded and apathetic considering the state of affairs throughout the world today, however I'd rather not be so uncaring that I become a cold hearted bastard and a shut in.

Web Cam Activated

2006-05-06T19:34:00.000-03:00

Well, after many years of teetering back and forth on if I should or should not purchase a webbcam, I did so today. A nice little Logitech WebCam. I'm very fond of Logitech computer gear. Now I don't work for Logitech and I'm not paid to pimp their gear, but they make good quality gear :) and I don't mind paying out the extra cash to get a keyboard, mouse or in this case a webcam made by them, because I know I'm getting a quality, reliable peice of gear. Okay I'm done pimpin' now ;)

Anyway, I know some of you who know me are asking "Why a WebCam? You have a digital camera!" and the answer is simple. I'm lazy, and I'm not always in the mood to get my camera, take a picture, upload it to my computer, then send it in an email or upload it to a webspace. This way, if someone wants to see me, I just activate the webcam and wave :) Simplicity is the key people! However, I will continue to use my digital camera, however it will be more for night's out, trips and what not. So, little by little, the Spankosaur is moving up in the world, and I must say, it feels good :)

I Have Opinions, Deal With It!

2006-05-03T20:38:00.000-03:00

Lately at work I've been stating my opinions, and my views on particular topics. Most people are fine with this. They are respectful, they listen to what I have to say, offer their insights and we have nice intelligent conversations. There are a few however, that don't seem to think that anyone elses opinions matter. I will admit I can be opinionated, and I'll defend my opinion to the death if need be, however if proven wrong, I'm adult enough to admit that I was wrong, mistaken, or even a little misguided or ill informed. The people I'm talking about will crap all over your opinion just because it differs from theres, and despite providing numerous sources to support your opinion, you're still wrong, and always will be wrong and shame on you for having an one that differs from theirs.

I'm a tolerant person to a point, but I find lately I've grown tired and easily annoyed by people who don't respect what others have to say. Now I will admit sometimes I get a little wrapped up in my own opinions and become a little like a mother hen lecturing and cluckin' away, and I really don't mean to, I'm just a little passionate about some things and there's nothing wrong with that, I'm not fanatical or anything. I won't blow up a building just because someone there disagreed with me. However, I do think everyone is entitled to their opinion, and if I'm respectful of yours, you should be respectful of mine. If I disagree, that's not disrespect, I just don't agree and wish to discuss if further. Disrespect is automatically dismissing an opinion because it's not yours. Being that close minded and ignorant, well, just pisses me off.

Anyway, what I'm getting at, I suppose, is that I have opinions and I will express them and if you can't deal with that, and are too wrapped up in your own little sheltered world now to listen to what I have to say with an open mind, just don't talk to me :) We'll both be a lot happier :)

I Work Hard For My Money... So Hard For My Money

2006-04-29T08:11:00.000-03:00

I've been working my new job for just about a month now. I've lost some weight, gained some muscle, which is always good, and gotten rather good at my job. Over the past couple of weeks however, I got curious as to just how much walking I do in course of a typical shift. So I decided to get a pedometer (step counter) and find out. Last night I walked approximately 14.3 km in an 8 hour shift. Now, consider I do that about 5, sometimes 6 days a week, and it's no wonder I've lost some weight. Holy Crap! 14.3 x 5 = 71.5. So in an average week, just at work alone, I'm walking 71.5km. That's not including the walking and bike riding I do outside of work. It's no wonder when I get home from work I'm tired *lol* Anyway, I really don't have much interesting to say, just thought I would share that little bit of information with you all :)

Do We Ever Really Get Over A First Love?

2006-04-22T18:12:00.000-03:00

Today I had coffee with an old friend I haven't seen in almost a year. We talked about our lives. Discussed work, hobbies, interests, etc. Then we started talking about mutual friends, people I haven't seen in a long time and was not sure about their whereabouts and what not. Then, we got on the topic of my ex. This is a difficult subject for me, mostly because I'm still a bit bitter about the whole thing, even though it's been almost 3 years, and I have dated since, I loved this woman and she broke my heart. My friend filled me in on her career and her new boyfriend and the likes. The moment I heard "new boyfriend", despite the fact that how she met him and what not made me laugh, those words hit like a swift kick in the groin. I mean, there was always this remote chance that she and I may reconcile, and I guess a small part of me wanted that. I mean, after the way she treated me and how things ended one might think I'm crazy, but in reality, I loved this woman, and it still hurts regardless. Which brings me to ask the question "Do we ever really get over our first love?". I do realize that we will have many loves in our lifetimes, and some of us are lucky enough to find our true loves. However, I don't think we ever really forget our first love, and in some cases, get over them.

So as I ponder this, maybe it wasn't that I was not going to get over her, it was that I couldn't without closure. I needed that closure, that finality, so that I could move on with my life. I find myself comparing every woman I dated to her, for some bizarre reason, and now that she's finally moved on, I guess so can I. So, now that I'm happy with my physical appearance and no longer overweight and depressed, I think a new woman in my life would be a good thing. So ladies, the line starts here on the right ;)

The Spankosaur Has Returned To HSI

2006-04-21T10:30:00.001-03:00

After almost 3 years on the evil, slow, intolerable dial up internet service, I've gotten back into the 21st century and I'm back on High Speed Internet. All, I can say is it's been too damn long! It's now a pleasure to surf the internet, I can watch video clips with ease, I can play online games without waiting 20 minutes for the stupid thing to load, ahhhh 'tis bliss! Now I just need to get a web cam and a more comfortable computer chair and I'm all set :) w00t!!

Busy Busy Busy

2006-04-18T10:38:00.000-03:00

Well, I'm sure some of you have been wondering where the hell I've been these past couple of weeks. Well, to sum it all up in a few words, Working and Sleeping. Work has kept me very busy, and the fact I've been working 10 hour shifts, and last week worked 6 days in a row doesn't exactly means I have had much free time to spend doing the things I enjoy :( However, I needed this to get back in the groove I suppose.

This past weekend all my stuff finally came out of storage and I got it un-packed and set up. I know they are just posessions, but damnit they're mine and I missed them! You try sleeping on someone elses crappy cot for a month then getting your nice queen sized sleigh bed with pillow top matress back, you'd be pretty excited too! :) I swear I haven't slept this good in a LONG time :) As well, now that I'm in a locale where HSI is available, within the next week, I'll be back on HSI. No more dial up! WHOOOO HOOOOO! Makes me feel like Riverdancing.

In the spirit of starting over, I've decide to try something different. I decided I'm not going to get a car. I bought myself a nice new shiny mountain bike for the summer and in the winter or in crappy weather I'll take the bus. With soaring gas prices and insurance rates, and no end in sight, this seems like the wiser financial and ecological choice to make :) I'm mean sure, a car would be nice, but with where I'm living now, I don't really need it. All the shopping is so close and so is my workplace, so what's the point really? I figure I'll do my part for the environment by biking and taking public transportation, and I'll save a substancial amount of cash in the process :)

So, all in all my dear friends, life is going pretty good. I'm in a job I like that gives me great exercise (I've lost 10lbs since I started), I'm in a new city that when I have some free time I'll get to explore and I'm making new friends every day.Things just seem to be on the up and up for the ol' spankosaur.

New Beginnings

2006-03-28T20:59:00.000-04:00

Well, after 2 years of living at home and trying to put my life in order, the time has arrived where I'm finally able to get back out on my own. I have a new job, and have moved to a new city where I know not even a handful of people. I relocated myself approximately 200km north of my previous location. It's a funny feeling, basically I'm starting over again. New city, new job, and time to make new friends. I'm both nervious and excited at the same time.

It's not that there was anything really wrong with my previous location, I'd just grown bored and annoyed with it really, having seen everything it had to offer.Having been raised a military brat, every once in a while I get this burning desire to go somewhere new, and discover everything that place has to offer. Most people just refer to this as wanderlust, and that's pretty much what it is. I guess what I'm doing now is preparing myself for a much larger move that I plan to make in the near future. The next relocate will most likely be to the other end of the country, unless I find something or someone worth staying for. I honestly don't expect that happen considering my luck with women, but who knows. Love works in mysterious wasy I suppose.

Anyway, the great unknown awaits me, and I'm looking forward to seeing what it has to offer me :) Let's hope it's all good, I've had enough bad for awhile :)

Email Chain Letters and Spam, mmmmm Spam.

2006-03-07T07:43:00.000-04:00

Like everyone with an email account, I get numerous email chain letters a week. 99% of them I don't even read, I realize what they are by the subject line, and normally just delete them. However there are rare occasions where an email chain letter is cleverly written and sounds very believable and naturally I have to check out to see if the claims made in the chain letter are true. However, some people read them, don't take the time to confirm whether or not the information is false, freak out, and forward them to everyone in their address book, thus creating a "chain" of hysteria. I'm not upset with the people who send them to me. I mean, if they think enough of me to forward them thinking I may want that information, that's fine. My issue is with the people who create these things. I fail to see what pleasure is derived from the creation of these vile things, and all I can say is, FOR SHAME!

Now, even though I'm not fond of email chain letters, I don't hate them nearly as much as spam. No, not the stuff on the grocery store shelf covered in dust, I'm talking about unsolicited email advertising. Oh My Lord how I hate that stuff. I can't count how many email accounts I've just closed and abandoned just to get away from the stuff. The scary thing is, some people make a good living distrusting this garbage! Even with all the spam filters set up at the users end, and at the ISP's end, this stuff still get's through. I understand that sometimes, to earn a living, you do what you must. However, I just don't think I could be proud to say I distribute emails regarding penis enlargement supplements for a living. I mean, it's not exactly a great pick up line at a bar, or something you'd speak about at your child's school on career day now is it?

How do these jerks get your email address in the first place? oh, that's just the icing on the cake. You sign up for a newsletter from a website you frequently visit, the owners of that website sell your email address to someone else, and they sell it to someone else, and it just snowballs until you check your email and you're getting 200 emails a day about things you'd never talk about even in private. I guess everything boils down to the bottom dollar, and finding new and inventive ways to make that dollar, and wasn't this rant about SPAM and Email Chain Letters?

Misunderstandings

2006-02-25T20:03:00.000-04:00

In the past day or so, much hostility has arisen about my Sense Of Humor post and the comments that followed. It would appear a post that was intended to avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings has become the root of them. Before you proceed reading, if you haven't already, read the post in question. If you have, read it again just for good measure.

Now, heated words have been exchanged, feelings have been hurt and it would appear that I, as well as a like minded friend, are responsible. However, due to the post that was made, I don't feel I should be held responsible, nor the like minded friend. If you are wondering why I feel that way, I shall proceed to explain.

The entire point of the post in question was for people who visit my site to understand my sense of humor and to engage in battles of wit with me, and others who visit my site, without people walking away offended or with hurt feelings. So, once the post was made, I expected the witty banter to follow and was looking forward to the challenges that awaited me. Although despite my best efforts to make that point very clear, it has been missed.

So, allow me to make this very clear, if you make a comment on my site, be fully prepared for the witty banter that will follow. If something is in very bad taste, I will do something about it. Although, if I find it witty, and witty doesn't always mean funny people, I will allow it. If you dish it, be prepared to take it. With that said, keep it clean people, witty is one thing, nasty is another. May the battles of wit commence.