Putting Others Before Yourself
Well, this post is going to be a bit of a rant, so if you're not in the mood to hear a rant, stop reading now. If you do continue reading, do keep in mind that the person I am going to talk about does not read my blog. Doesn't even surf the net at all anyway.
Okay, to start off. Putting others before yourself, in theory a noble thing to do. However, people today are very greedy and selfish and tend to take full advantage of people who put others before themselves. My g/f is a person who puts other's before herself, and her sister is the greedy selfish bitch who takes full advantage of her noble nature. I have hit a point where I'm so sick and tired of the sister taking advantage of my g/f's kind heart as an easy out for any problem she may have. Whether it's babysitting, drives somewhere, or whatever. It's to the point now, where the sister is so bold she'll call my g/f's work, have her paged and ask her to babysit, at the last minute I might add, just so she can follow thru on whatever last minute plans she may have. Now, am I the only one who see's a problem with this? Honestly! My g/f gives and gives and gives, and the sister just takes and takes and takes, and not once has she done anything for my g/f. NOT ONCE, in the 6 months my g/f and I have been together, have I seen her do ANYTHING remotely kind for her. It's just gimme gimme gimme, and if my g/f happens to say no, well, the sister cries to Mommy, Mommy comes down hard on my g/f and my g/f caves and does it anyway.
I'm sorry if I sound like a selfish bastard, but the point here is not for me to have my g/f all to myself. Far from it. The point is, my g/f gives all her time, money and energy to helping out her sister, and she isn't allowed to have her own life. For christ sake it's like they are angry with her for having a job and not being a live in slave or something. Now, whenever I get upset about this, the line I get from all of them is "that's what it means to be family". Like I don't understand what it means to be family. I do understand, I have 3 siblings, and I have done a lot for them and they have done a lot for me. However, I NEVER took advantage of them the way my g/f's sister takes advantage of her. Family help each other yes. Family are there for each other yes. Family don't borrow your car, drain the tank and don't give you a cent of money for gas and never even offer to pay for gas. Family does not guilt you into cancelling plans you made 3 weeks in advance at the last minute so they can go out to something they just found out about today.
I know I'm ranting and raving here, don't worry, of this I am well aware. However, am I the only one that thinks this is just disgusting? I do understand my point of view may sound a little biased, but I'm only providing the facts, and it's coming across that way for a reason. I'm not sure what I should do. I love my g/f very much and I hate to see her treated this way, and I've reached a point where I may end up saying something that will either end our relationship, or will greatly hurt her relationship with her family. So the questions is now, what do I do?
Okay, to start off. Putting others before yourself, in theory a noble thing to do. However, people today are very greedy and selfish and tend to take full advantage of people who put others before themselves. My g/f is a person who puts other's before herself, and her sister is the greedy selfish bitch who takes full advantage of her noble nature. I have hit a point where I'm so sick and tired of the sister taking advantage of my g/f's kind heart as an easy out for any problem she may have. Whether it's babysitting, drives somewhere, or whatever. It's to the point now, where the sister is so bold she'll call my g/f's work, have her paged and ask her to babysit, at the last minute I might add, just so she can follow thru on whatever last minute plans she may have. Now, am I the only one who see's a problem with this? Honestly! My g/f gives and gives and gives, and the sister just takes and takes and takes, and not once has she done anything for my g/f. NOT ONCE, in the 6 months my g/f and I have been together, have I seen her do ANYTHING remotely kind for her. It's just gimme gimme gimme, and if my g/f happens to say no, well, the sister cries to Mommy, Mommy comes down hard on my g/f and my g/f caves and does it anyway.
I'm sorry if I sound like a selfish bastard, but the point here is not for me to have my g/f all to myself. Far from it. The point is, my g/f gives all her time, money and energy to helping out her sister, and she isn't allowed to have her own life. For christ sake it's like they are angry with her for having a job and not being a live in slave or something. Now, whenever I get upset about this, the line I get from all of them is "that's what it means to be family". Like I don't understand what it means to be family. I do understand, I have 3 siblings, and I have done a lot for them and they have done a lot for me. However, I NEVER took advantage of them the way my g/f's sister takes advantage of her. Family help each other yes. Family are there for each other yes. Family don't borrow your car, drain the tank and don't give you a cent of money for gas and never even offer to pay for gas. Family does not guilt you into cancelling plans you made 3 weeks in advance at the last minute so they can go out to something they just found out about today.
I know I'm ranting and raving here, don't worry, of this I am well aware. However, am I the only one that thinks this is just disgusting? I do understand my point of view may sound a little biased, but I'm only providing the facts, and it's coming across that way for a reason. I'm not sure what I should do. I love my g/f very much and I hate to see her treated this way, and I've reached a point where I may end up saying something that will either end our relationship, or will greatly hurt her relationship with her family. So the questions is now, what do I do?
posted by spankosaur @ Friday, November 10, 2006
2 Comments:
At Friday, November 10, 2006 ,
Anonymous said...
You have to be honest if your relationship is going to continue to work. If this is totally bothering you, you need to say something - however, it is her life and not yours. Granted, you are a part of her life and although you may care for her greatly, it really isn't your place to tell her how deal with relatives. Telling her how you feel is one thing - telling her how to change her ways so that you feel better about the situation is another.
Does that make any sense at all? I just re-read it and I didn't get what I said...oh well...
At Friday, November 10, 2006 ,
Anonymous said...
Time to move - you both throw all your shit in the car and get as far away from them as FAST as you can. People like that don't learn, you have to remove the ability for them to be taking advantage.
I hear the West Coast is Beautiful. ;)
In all seriousness though, it is a situation that will not rectify itself until your g/f stops it, and yes that may mean pissing off the family. At what point though did being family mean that you are required to give up a life of your own? Family means sticking together and supporting - YES SUPPORTING - not SERVING.
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