Reflecting On Myself

Greetings Dear Readers,

I know for the past few months I haven't exactly been making frequent entries, and for that, I do apologize. My life has been in a bit of turmoil during that time, and I'm just now able to have the time to myself to be able to properly sit down and do a thoughtful entry, rather than just a personal update :)

What has brought upon this sudden need to be all thoughtful, philosophical and perhaps somewhat intellectual? Well, I guess I'll explain that as I go.

This past week I finished the training for my new job and "graduated" in a sense, from trainee to employee. Now the "trainee" class started at 24 students, and in the end, only 7 were able to meet the expectations and goals set down by the employer at the beginning. This, in all honesty was rather shocking. Then, after all the dust had settled and the reality of the situation really had set in, I was even more shocked.

I guess you could say that after everything I've been through in my 27 years on this planet, in this plain of existence, I don't really have the highest opinion of myself. Then after the past four weeks, I realized that I'm not some generic shmuck who isn't worth much, and isn't really all that great. I have so much more to offer and I'm capable of so much I never realized I was. Now, I'm not trying to honk my own horn, I'm not trying to be a braggart and tell the world how great I am. What I'm getting at is, I didn't appreciate the gifts that I do have. I didn't have any confidence in my own abilities and didn't think I was capable of being anything special.

In the past few years I guess I have done a lot of growing up and self discovery. As well, I have come to understand the world in general far better than I did when I was 20. To sum it all up in one word, I guess you could say I've matured. The 2 years I spend living at home actually did me more good than harm. I guess I wasn't as ready to face the world as thought when I was younger, and because of that, when I got knocked down the first time, I really got knocked down, and didn't know how to get back up and continue the fight.

But since that time, I've learn some things about the world, and about myself that have totally changed my perspective, my strategy, and my general attitude and approach to life. The scary thing is, a lot of the things I've learned, I've learned in the past few weeks at my new job. My trainer at this job has passed on some invaluable advice that I shall cherish for a long time to come. I could run off the mouth even more, and go on and on about all the things that have been passed to me, but I would just sound like a motivational speaker more than anything else.

So with all that said, I ask each of you the question. Do you know who you are? Do you know what you are truly capable of? and if so, are you making the most of your life or just letting it pass you by in a blur of apathy?

Wonderful Past Few Days :)

Well, I have to admit, despite some other personal things that I will not get into here, seeing how it's nor the place or the time for it, I have been having the best week I have had in a very long time.

I met someone at work who has had such a positive infulence on my life it's postively scary! He is, soon to be 'was', my training coach. He is also a cancer survivor, and has completely beat it. His love of life, endless energy, and positive reflection on life and how we can make the most of it is infectious.

I can honestly say he has tought me more on how to simply deal with life in general in the past 2 weeks I have known him, than anyone has ever been able to. It's not that I haven't heard the advice he has given me before, but there just something about it coming from someone who you know really believes it, who has lived it, and continues to live it.

Anyway, all the advice I have gotten I will not get into now, I'm just too hyper to be all serious and philosophical at the moment, but I just wanted to share with you all that I have had a life altering week, and it I can't wait for next week. :)

Venting Session

Okay, as the title of this post may indicate, I'm a little annoyed at the moment and feel the need to vent. I do realize that everyone has their own issues and things that are going on in their lives that may or may not require venting. However, this is my blog, therefor my vent. Hope you enjoy my ramblings.

Okay, so I'm now completely fed up with my girlfriends sister and her fiancee. I've reached the point where if they call, and I see the name on the caller id and I know it's them, I don't even want to answer the phone because I know they are going to ask me and the girlfriend to drop whatever it is that we are doing, regardless of how important it may be to us, and come running.

I mean, I don't mind helping someone, if they first make the effort to help themselves. That's not what is happening here. We are the free baby sitting service and if we are unable to due to work schedules or have something else to do, we're suddenly jerks and mean, and so on and so forth. It's like the world suddenly has begun to revolve around this woman and no one else matters.

What makes matters worse, is the g/f never says anything. She just caves and goes running. Putting herself second. She sacrafices sleep, money, and her time for her sister. I mean, sure it's great she cares enough to do so, but the sister has come to expect nothing less of her. So now, my g/f is to put her entire life on hold. She seems to expect my g/f to be late for work, sacrafice what little time with me she has, her money, her gas, use of her car and so on and so on at a moments notice, all because she is having troubles coping with taking care of her new born child. Now, in my mind the father of this child should be right there doing all the things my girlfriend is doing. What is he doing you ask? Playing video games, running around with his buddies, pretty much everything but taking care of his child. This naturally pisses me off to no end.

So, I've reached a point where I no longer want to put up with this, but because she is not my sister, and I've only been with my g/f a little more than 5 months, I'm not sure if it's really my place to say anything. So, I'm more or less damned if I do, damned if I don't. With risk of sounding cliche, sucks :(

Long Time No Update

Greetings One and All!

I know it has been some time since my last update, but life has been rather hectic the past few weeks and sitting at my computer typing is the last thing I've really had time for. However since there is a bit of a lull in the craziness, I now have the opportunity to post an update :) so, here we go.

As some of you may know, I've been working sort of a crappy manual labor job for the past, ohhh, 5 months now. I don't mind the work in all honesty, but it's the way the company treats me, and my co-workers that I'm not too fond of. It more or less boils down to 110% isn't enough for these people. So, having grown exceedingly tired of this, I have gone and found myself a better paying job where I don't have to physically destroy myself on a daily basis. As you can most likely guess I am rather excited. I am a little sad though. I have made some good friends at my current job, and I intend to keep in touch with them all, and my supervisor has told me that if I even need another job, as long as he is there, I always have a job. So in a sense, not burning your bridges is a good thing :) The Crush aka my girlfriend, also got a new job and she is doing very well there, and is the happiest she's been in a job in a very long time :)

So, with the whole career/job front covered, let's move on. On a relationship standpoint the crush and I are doing very well. We're crazy about one another, and couldn't be happier. However, recent events are putting an enormous strain on the relationship. :( The girlfriends sister was recently in a car accident, and granted that entire situation is messed up and I feel bad. However suddenly becoming her personal slave and having to put my life on hold for her? Not cool! I don't mind helping out a little in tough times, but being treated like a slave, and getting no thanks at all for it, I can't tolerate. I know I may sound like a cold hearted bastard at the moment, but without disclosing all the gory details, you'll just have to trust me here, I have every right to be a little miffed. I mean, okay, she's having a rough go, but you know what? Life is rough, get used to it, because just when you think you got things under control, something is going to creep out of the shadows and kick you in the face. Life is hard, if life was easy everyone would be a millionaire. There would be no poverty, no hunger, no disease, no crime, no hate, none of it! So stop complaining, and start taking repsonsiblitiy for your actions, and your choices, and help yourself.

Anyway, enough about that, before I go on any further and end up getting myself in a great deal of trouble, I shall say, dat's all folks, and hopefully my next update will be sooner than later :)